


Boyfriend For Hire

by TheBlackMagister



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: ALL THE CUDDLES FUCK YEH, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Body Worship, Bottom Rick Grimes, Couch Cuddles, Craigslist, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Dubcon Cuddling, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Marking, Meeting the Parents, Morning Cuddles, Post-Coital Cuddling, Rimming, Sleepy Cuddles, Thanksgiving, Top Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:28:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackMagister/pseuds/TheBlackMagister
Summary: Rick Grimes, 25, is tired of being encouraged to find somebody to settle down with. Enter Negan: a for-hire "boyfriend" on Craigslist. It's just for a week.. but Rick finds himself attached anyway.





	1. Prologue

Rick hates Thanksgiving.

Well – he doesn’t really hate the holiday, he supposes. Nor does he hate his family. He just hates their nosiness in his nonexistent love life. No amount of desperately trying to explain that he doesn’t want to get married or have kids, he’s not interested, _for fuck’s sake he’s only 25_ , can make them leave him alone about it, and it’s been getting increasingly annoying.

He’s halfway through complaining to Daryl when Daryl sends him a Craigslist ad. The link makes him stop midway typing a very long, mostly rude text, fingers hovering uncertainly over the keyboard, then over the link. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Daryl. It’s just.. odd timing, he guesses. He taps hesitantly on the link, watches the page load slow but sure, and when the ad finishes loading he frowns. He backs out of the ad and deletes the entire text he’d been typing.

_Is this supposed to be a joke?_ he sends instead. He doesn’t see how it couldn’t be; there’s no way he’d take up an offer like that.

_nope_ , Daryl sends back, _dead serious, grimes. hit him up. they’ll never ask you again._

Reluctantly Rick opens the ad again. He scowls as he reads it, brows pulling together. Sure, he’s desperate to get his family off his ass; but desperate enough to hire somebody to date him for a week? It just seems.. dangerous.

Still. It might be worth it.

After a few moments spent mentally arguing the pros and cons he sends the link to himself via Facebook, then decides to distract himself until he can think clearly. Maybe he’ll grab dinner or something – anything to keep his mind off of all of this. He fires a quick text back to Daryl, ensuring he knows where Rick’s going, then shrugs on his coat and heads downtown to his favorite diner.

When he gets home, full fed and content, he falls into bed with his laptop and re-opens the link. According to the ad, the man isn’t much older than Rick – 29 – and a baseball coach by day, bartender by night. There’s no picture or anything, though, and even though that’s probably the smart thing to do it still sets Rick on edge. He’d like to know who he’s seeing before he hires the guy. There's not much other information, either, other than that he's based out of Georgia.

At the very least, there’s a phone number listed, so Rick takes advantage of this and decides to send a quick text inquiring about the ad. He spends several minutes tweaking it so he doesn’t sound like a complete idiot, and eventually just ends up sending a _hi, I saw your Thanksgiving dating ad on craigslist and I was curious_. He figures that’s as good as it can get. Now - he just has to wait.

It’s another hour or two before he gets a text back. He’s nervous when he picks up the phone – apparently, so nervous his hands shake, and it’s a long moment before he can read the damn thing.

_Hiya, I’m Negan,_ it reads. _Were you interested in taking me up on that offer?_

Rick hesitates. He is, he isn't – what if he gets murdered? He runs the pad of his index finger over his lower lip thoughtfully, frowning at the texts, then sends back a simple _yes_. After a moment of quick thinking, though, he adds on, _My name’s Rick, btw._

The next text he receives is a selfie. It’s a mirror shot, clearly taken carefully so as to impress. Not that it needs it, Rick thinks; the man in the photo is enough to wipe the rest away. He’s a looker for sure, tall and muscular, all decked out in black (and a leather jacket, what the hell) with a cocky little smirk, as if he knows already how gorgeous he is.

Rick had never really gotten the whole romance thing. He’d never felt butterflies in his stomach, never spent hours daydreaming over some girl he’d seen – or anybody, for that matter. He’d much preferred his art to company. However, one thing he _is_ good at is appreciating others in an aesthetic sense, and this guy takes the fucking cake. He’d like to pin that selfie up on the wall and spend days drawing it, over and over. All the shapes, it would be fascinating to sketch it out and see how it all fits-

For now, though, he concerns himself with trying to decide if he should send a picture back. It would be rude not to, surely? Then Negan sends another text: _you don’t have to send one, just thought you’d like to know what you’re working with_.

Yeah, Rick thinks, carefully typing out a reply that might be something along the lines of _I think I’ll wait a little_. This guy will do. He pauses for a moment as Negan types back.

_Welcome aboard, Rick. Where do we start?_


	2. Day One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello!! ok before we begin: yall r wild. i didnt expect the first chapter to get so many comments, especially with how short it is, but you guys came out for this one !! i'm sorry i didn't respond to everybody, i'm about as socially inept as a human being can be, but know that i read them all and i love all of u guys!! i genuinely appreciate all the support and i hope the rest of this lives up to you guys' expectations =3= anyway. onto the chapter

“Oh, _fuck_.”

Rick scowls at himself in the mirror, adjusting the t-shirt he’d thrown on. Well – the fifth t-shirt. His bedroom floor is scattered with clothes, which, while not out of the ordinary, this time is made out of all the different outfits he’d tried on in the past half hour.

After texting back and forth with Negan for a few days they’d decided to meet at a Starbucks downtown a week before Thanksgiving, and if all goes well, they’ll grab their coffees and head down to Rick’s parents’ place. And God, Rick’s nervous. He wants to make a good first impression while also wearing something his parents would approve of, which is a horrible combination to try to fit into. He feels like an 8th grader again, trying to get ready for a dumb school dance or something.

It takes another fifteen minutes for him to finally decide on a deep blue button up and black jeans. It’s a little less nice than he’d imagined, but he looks good in it – or at least so he thinks – so it’s staying. At least his suitcase is already packed, thank God. He knows he wouldn’t have had the patience to deal with it after all of this.

And, hey. It’s not all bad. In fact, he even makes it to the Starbucks by 4 PM sharp, which is a feat in and of itself. When he pulls up to the shop he takes in the moderate crowd escaping the cold, which is good – not an ass load of people, but hopefully still enough to dissuade being kidnapped or something.

The two of them had traded pictures already, sure, and had even Facetimed a handful of times, but while Rick is almost certain Negan definitely is who he says he is, he can’t be sure of Negan’s true intentions. It was honestly part of why he’d suggested they meet in public in the first place. The fact that Negan had agreed to it had given Rick a little relief, at least, but.. he's still anxious.

Now Rick is settled nervously at a table in the front of the store, waiting for Negan to arrive. He’s a worrier, he’ll admit, and every time the door opens he finds himself jumping. He chides himself for a moment for being so easily startled and twists his ring around his finger. It’s a habit, he supposes, but his ring is like a comfort blanket, and he’d be lost without it.

Rick looks up as the door opens again, and at once his heart jumps into his throat. Oh, boy. Negan’s much more intimidating in person than over the phone, and as he approaches Rick finds himself sinking a little further into the seat.

“You’re Rick?” Negan drawls as he nears, giving Rick a casual once-over. Rick nods. “Well, color me impressed,” Negan adds, falling easily into the chair across from Rick, “pictures don’t even begin to do you justice. I thought the selfies were nice, but they don’t compare.”

Unsure how to take this, Rick just nods again, bemused. Negan flashes a grin. Jeez. How he can be so laid-back is beyond Rick.

“I’m fuckin’ with you, Rick. Good looking as you might be, we aren’t doin’ this for real, are we? Anyway. You ready to get some drinks and get the hell outta dodge?”

“Uh – yeah.” Rick feels like he can’t get up fast enough. He knows that a good portion of his distress is from the crowd in the coffee shop and he’ll be better when they get on the road, but for now his hands shake and his knees feel weak and he just wants to _go_. He moves to fish his wallet out of his pocket, but Negan lays a relaxed hand on his arm and grins.

“I got it. What’re you getting?”

“Oh, uh.. j-just a mocha, thanks. Just, um, the way that it comes.” Rick hesitates for a moment, still half-reaching for his wallet, but Negan’s already striding off to the counter to order. Jesus. He envies Negan, for a brief second; he would kill to have that kind of confidence.

Almost too soon they’re back out in the chilly November air, coffees in hand. Negan had just left his suitcase just outside the door, padlocked and zip-tied shut, and while it may be impenetrable Rick’s.. not really sure how safe that really is. He frowns a little.

“You sure that’s, uh.. safe?” He says as he pops the trunk to let Negan slide the suitcase in. Negan flashes him a glance.

“What?”

“I mean.. leavin’ your suitcase out there like that. Anybody could come and steal it.”

“Oh, yeah.” Negan waves one hand idly, takes a sip of his coffee as Rick closes the trunk. “Yeah, you’re probably right on that one. But it hasn’t been stolen yet, so I haven’t had to learn that lesson.”

He drops a grin in Rick’s direction, and Rick fumbles with his keys, flustered. He _hates_ being so nervous around new people. He presses the button to unlock the car and heads quickly to get into the driver’s seat, cheeks tinged pink. Next to him Negan settles into the passenger’s seat, long legs stretching out comfortably.

“Ready to go?” Rick checks, carefully adjusting his mirrors and starting up the car, and Negan nods.

“Sure am.”

* * *

“You remember what I asked?” Rick asks, about half an hour into their hour trip. Negan quirks an eyebrow.

“Course I do, Rick. I’m supposed to be obnoxious, but not _too_ obnoxious – we just want them to stop asking about you, not to ban you forever.”

“Yeah.” Rick adjusts his grip on the steering wheel and takes a breath. Their conversation had been nice, up until now, with worry burying itself in the back of Rick’s mind until it’s all he can think about. “Sorry,” He adds with a sigh. “I’m just nervous.”

“It’s cool, don’t sweat it. It’ll be fine.”

Rick nods tersely. He’s only been thinking about this at all hours over the past four days or so. Every part of him is tense, prepared for the worst; he knows how his parents will feel about this, which was part of why he’d gone with it. But now.. he’s just.. scared.

“Hey.” Negan’s voice is gentler now, more soothing. “It’ll all work out. It may not feel like it now, but it will. You’ll see.”

Rick lets out a breath. “You’re right,” He admits finally. “I just need to relax.”

“Of course I’m right.” Negan laughs, and Rick lets a reluctant smile slip through. Negan’s got this air about him, Rick thinks, that’s just so.. calming. He exudes a laid-back confidence that puts everybody around him at ease. It’s nice, and a good balance to Rick’s near-constant anxiety.

By the time they get there, though, despite Negan’s easy-going conversation, Rick’s nerves are on the weak side of frayed, and he dreads the thought of having to face his parents. He sits stiffly in the car for a minute, two, until Negan rests one hand on top of his on the steering wheel. He jumps a little despite himself at the touch. Negan’s skin is warm and tanned from his work in the sun, fingers lightly callused in contrast to the smooth, pale skin of Rick’s own.

“Come on,” Negan says softly. “Better just get it over with and be done, huh?”

“Yeah.” Rick lets out a long breath, forcing his grip on the steering wheel to ease. He pops the trunk from inside the car before he gets out, and spends the few minutes they have lugging their suitcases out and dragging them up to the door going over the information Negan had given him.

They had exchanged facts about themselves on the car ride so as not to raise suspicion if anybody asked. Rick had learned Negan’s a Capricorn, likes the color blue, and that’d he’d been married previously; although, on the last one, Negan had only said that he was “really, really shit at being married” and had refused to talk about it further. Negan also has a habit of tapping on his leg, Rick had noticed, and his fingers curl every so often as if around a bat.

He also hadn’t made fun of Rick for never having dated before, which Rick counts as a win. He hadn’t even probed or anything; just made an interested “huh” and moved on. Nothing better, in Rick’s opinion.

“You got this,” Negan murmurs encouragingly, resting one hand on the small of Rick’s back as he hesitates before the doorbell. Rick nods to himself. He can’t stand out here all day being afraid. He presses the button once, carefully, and forces himself not to jerk his hand away. Negan’s touch is oddly soothing, at least. He takes a deep breath.

When his mother opens the door she only looks mildly surprised to see them. Rick swallows hard, fumbling desperately for Negan’s hand. Negan gets the message and takes it. Thank God.

“Hey, Mom,” He says nervously, and he can feel himself flushing. “Uh.. this is Negan. The – the guy I told you I was bringing?”

“Oh.” She looks Negan over once, then steps back, a little reluctantly. “Your.. friend.”

“Boyfriend,” Rick corrects, the word feeling awkward in his mouth. She shoots him a glance.

“Yes, that. Well. I assume you remember where your room is, Richard?”

Negan looks up, quite obviously amused, and heat creeps down Rick’s neck. “Yeah,” He mumbles, ushering Negan into the house. “Thanks, Mom.”

The whole way up the stairs he can hear Negan snickering, and as soon as he shuts the door to his bedroom and they drop their suitcases Negan rounds on him, fit to burst with laughter.

“ _Richard_?”

“Yeah,” Rick says defensively, frowning a little. “What, did you forget Rick is short for Richard?”

“No, no, just.. wow. You really don’t look like a fuckin'  _Richard_. You should definitely just be Rick.”

Rick scowls a little, but there’s no malice in it, and after a moment it drops and he sighs. Negan chuckles again, shaking his head.

“Come on,” Rick mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face. “We should go back downstairs. My brother will be here soon, and.. everybody else, I guess.”

“Who’s everyone else?” Negan inquires curiously as they descend the stairs. Rick sighs.

“Aunts. Uncles. Grandparents. Cousins I don’t even know I have, probably.”

“You got a big family, Rick?”

“Big enough.” Rick shakes his head, turning into the kitchen. “Especially for poor introverted me.”

Negan just makes another interested “hm”, a sound that Rick thinks means he’s probably storing the information away for later. Before they can continue their conversation, though, as if on cue, the doorbell rings again.

“Richard, be a dear and get that, will you?” His mother calls from the kitchen. Rick calls back a “yes ma’am” as he heads to the door. Negan trails along behind him like a lost puppy, still clinging to his hand, and he.. doesn’t mind. It’s only this thought that gets him to pull his hand away, suddenly uncomfortable that he's so comfortable with a man he's only just met.

“Richie!”

Right. Yeah. He’d forgotten about his brother’s over-enthusiasm in his worry, until right now, now that his ribs are being squeezed out of his chest. He manages a wheezy sort of laugh, squirming a little.

“It’s Rick now. I'm not twelve anymore.” He reminds his brother. Jeff lets go of him, finally, and he tries not to fucking gasp at the release of pressure.

“Right, right. Rick.” Jeff beams at him, still grasping his shoulders. “How’ve you been, man?”

“I’ve been alright.” Rick knows it sounds forced, but dear God, he hates small talk. He’s just not good at it. He never has been and never will be, probably. “Oh! Uh, this is my boyfriend, Negan-”

The word boyfriend again just feels _wrong_ , but he pushes the feeling down. Jeff gives Negan a quick glance, then obviously deems him okay, because he offers a hand, which Negan takes. Rick lets out a relieved breath.

Behind Jeff, though, is more family – and more family – and still more family. Christ. Some of these people Rick didn’t even know existed until now. He shakes more hands and gives more greetings and hugs than he thinks he’s ever given; but the constant contact is grating to his already fragile nerves, and he finds it increasingly harder to force a smile for everyone.

Still, it can’t last forever, and once the last of the guests are in the house Negan grabs Rick around the bicep and drags him off. He’s glad that at least the younger generations, the ones closer to his age, hadn’t even batted an eyelash at the two of them – and while the older folks had been.. less than impressed.. everything had gone rather smoothly.

“Let’s go for a walk, huh?” Negan murmurs, herding him towards the door. He hesitates.

“Negan, I don’t know..”

“Rick, we both know you need to get out of this house and away from these people. Just show me around the neighborhood.”

Rick pauses, gazing around at the family gathered, then nods. Negan’s right: he feels like if he stays here any longer, he’ll lose his mind. “Just let me tell somebody we’re leaving,” He says. Negan lets go of his arm, nodding, and he winds himself through the crowd to find Jeff. If there’s anybody he feels comfortable with it’s his little brother – Rick’s always sworn they should have been twins.

“Hey, Rick,” Jeff greets. “You need somethin’?”

“No, no. Just, uh.. Negan and I are gonna take a walk. Just around the neighborhood. I, uh.. I need to take a break.” Rick grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, and Jeff softens a little.

“Sure. I’ll let Mom know. Don’t stress too much, okay? It’s a holiday, remember.”

“I know. We’ll be back soon.”

He accepts another, less soul-crushing hug, then makes his way back over to Negan. He leads the way out into the chilly November air and almost immediately starts shivering. God. He’d thought he’d grown out of that. He pulls his coat tighter around himself and scowls.

“Well?” Negan prompts lightly, stepping out into the grass. “Where to first, cowboy?”

“Uh.. that way. Let’s go to the park, maybe we can warm up.”

They fall in next to each other as they walk off down the street. Negan hovers a little too close for comfort, but he radiates heat like a fucking furnace, and Rick’s willing to put up with a little discomfort if he gets to leech off the warmth.

“Rick,” Negan says softly, and Rick glances over, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Rick drops his gaze to the road again, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s just.. I don’t like large crowds, even of family. Or _especially_ of family, I guess. All those people expectin’ you to talk to them, expectin’ you to be friendly.. it just ain’t me, you know? And the worst part is, most of those people, you can’t just say ‘no’ to ‘em.”

“I’m surprised nobody’s noticed,” Negan remarks, shooting a frown at Rick. “I mean, whenever it gets to be too much, you get this look, like you just sucked on a fucking lemon. Maybe it’s just ‘cause I feel like I should be lookin’ out for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Rick flushes despite himself, embarrassed. He hadn’t noticed Negan was paying that close attention to him.

“Maybe not. I don’t know, it just feels like the right thing to do, since you push yourself so much. God damn, I’ve never met someone so fuckin’ hard-headed before.”

Rick shrugs. “Gotta keep up appearances so nobody knows there’s anything wrong,” He mutters, kicking at a rock. “That’s what I was told, anyway. I gotta be ‘normal’.”

Negan says nothing, just shakes his head. They lapse into silence. Rick derives pleasure from viciously kicking rocks in his path. Rick finds, though, that he’s not uncomfortable in their silence; they’re just two friends, walking down the road to the park.

When they reach the park they both beeline for the swings, and for a moment, Rick’s amused. Great minds think alike, he supposes.

Still, the momentary joy is quickly snuffed out by his anxiety. They’ve still got a whole week to go, to keep up the facade so nobody knows it’s all faked. He doesn’t know if he’s got it in him to keep it up for a day, let alone a whole week. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing – today had been easy, so far anyway, but he knows they’re going to have to actually be coupley sooner or later. What do couples even do? As a kid he’d always thought a relationship was just friendship but with kissing or whatever, at least until high school, but even now he’s not really sure what all goes into a relationship. Frustrated, he buries his face in his hands, driving his palms against his eyes until he sees stars.

“Rick?” Negan stops swinging, boots dragging in the dirt, and gets up. “You alright, honey?”

“I don’t know.” Rick groans, runs his fingers through his curls almost frantically, and Negan moves over to kneel in front of him. “I don’t know anything, I’m fucking.. what are we doing?”

Negan catches his wrists and pulls them down, frowning. “What do you mean?”

“All of this. Just. Somebody’s going to find out. I’ve never done anything like this before, it’s gonna be obvious that we’re-”

“A new couple.” Negan cuts him off, eyebrows lifting. “Listen to me, Rick. It’s to be expected you’re gonna be awkward about all of this, okay? You’ve never dated before, you’re not _supposed_ to know all the ins and outs yet. Nobody gets into a relationship and just _knows_. Just follow my lead, okay, and it’ll all work itself out.”

Rick swallows hard, heat suddenly searing his eyes, and he blinks. Negan reaches up and wipes the tears from his eyelashes and offers a gentle little smile.

“We’ll be okay, Rick, I promise. Trust me.”

Rick nods slowly. There’s nothing else he can do, he supposes; he just has to trust that Negan knows enough to carry them through this. He wipes at his eyes roughly.

“We should go back,” He says. “It’ll be getting dark soon, and.. dinner.”

Negan nods. He offers a hand to Rick, who takes it, and begins leading the way back. Rick’s feet feel heavy, and for a wild moment he wonders what would happen if they just didn’t go back. He could text Jeff they had decided to leave, or – or Negan had had a family emergency, or something – anything to get out of here. Before he has a chance to act on any of these thoughts, though, they’re home, Negan’s arm a comforting weight around his shoulders. It’s a tad possessive, he thinks – but then, that’s probably the point.

Dinner is an odd affair that night. Most of the family had just dropped by to say hello for an afternoon, save for Jeffrey and his wife – who Rick cannot remember her name, for the life of him. He knows his mother disapproves of him and Negan, especially since Negan keeps making generally inappropriate jokes that, while amusing to Jeffrey, seem to not impress their mother. It probably doesn’t help that Negan follows a quip about asses with gathering everybody’s plates and taking them to the kitchen to be washed. The change in demeanor is enough to give even Rick whiplash, who’d thought he’d heard it all in the car when Negan told him no less than ten times in five minutes about the best way to kiss somebody, in such great detail that Rick had almost felt ill.

Still, Negan seems to be just charming enough to keep on everybody’s good side. As they’re sitting around in the living room Negan offers to teach Jeff’s wife (L, it starts with an L, Rick is sure) to dance, and when she declines, he nods thoughtfully, then offers the same to Jeff. Jeff laughs at him, of course; but Rick might swear that he even saw their mother crack a smile at his antics.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Negan says later, after everybody else goes to bed and they’re left alone on the couch. Rick sighs.

“I don’t suppose so,” He agrees grudgingly. “But it’s only gonna get worse from now on. Once we really get settled we’ll have to do real couple stuff.”

“No we don’t.”

Rick frowns, glancing across the couch at him curiously. “No?”

“Nope.” Negan pops the p, obviously unconcerned. “Just say you don’t like PDA. Wouldn’t be too far off, would it?”

“I.. don’t suppose so.” Rick frowns. “You think it would work?”

“Sure.” Negan flashes a grin. “I’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. But right now,” He adds in amusement, as Rick yawns, “looks like you need sleep. You want me to stay down here?”

Rick hesitates for a long moment, then shakes his head. “No,” He says thoughtfully. “It would seem weird if you slept on the couch and I slept in my room. I feel like that definitely would give us away. Nah. You can come sleep with me.”

He can tell Negan’s holding back something inappropriate. He’s grateful for that. And, actually, now that he thinks about it – Negan hasn’t said much lewd to him or about him at all. He’d told Negan at the start he didn’t usually like that kind of attention, but he’s so used to people ignoring that that Negan’s respect actually seems weird.

“It’s been ages since I slept in here,” He mumbles, as they crawl into bed. “I moved out pretty much at 18.”

“You been on your own since then?” Negan asks, turning over to face him, and he nods.

“Yep. Doesn’t really bother me. Art’s better company than people.”

“Oh? You an artist?” Negan sounds genuinely curious, which a little bit of a surprise.

“Yeah.” Rick lets out a breath, turning away. “Just another thing for my mom to be disappointed in, I guess. She wanted me to be a cop.”

“Well, I think you’re fine the way you are. If she can’t see that, that’s on her.”

Rick feels his face flush again. Negan’s constantly straddling the line between sweet and inappropriate, switching so fast Rick’s head spins. After a pause he reaches back, finding Negan’s hand, and Negan gives a little squeeze. His heart’s beating uncomfortably hard in his chest and he’s sure Negan must feel him shaking, but slowly he forces himself to pull Negan’s arm over his waist. Negan hums softly in surprise.

“What’s up, Rick?” Negan murmurs, breath warm on the back of Rick’s neck, and Rick swallows his discomfort.

“I need to get used to this. So. I’m.. getting used to it.”

Negan chuckles lightly. “Not sure this is the way to do that.”

“What do you mean?” Rick frowns, and Negan gives his side a little nudge.

“Well, for starters, the person initiating isn’t usually stiff as a goddamn board. You gotta relax.”

“I.. can’t.” Rick takes in a shaky breath, trying to loosen his muscles, but every part of him is tense, reluctant against the contact. His body is fighting him at every step, urging him to let it go, stop trying, there will be other chances. Negan sighs.

“Turn over, Rick.”

Rick obeys, and as he does so, Negan rolls onto his back. He gestures for Rick to curl up against his side. It takes Rick a long moment, but eventually he gives in, pressing into the curve of Negan's body. Negan hums.

“Is this better?”

Rick hesitates. He doesn’t feel quite so trapped like this, stretched out next to the larger man, head tucked against Negan’s shoulder and one hand splayed across the broad chest. Slowly he nods. Tension drains out of him – for the most part, anyway – and he sighs against Negan’s skin.

“Yeah,” He mumbles. “Thank you.”

“Don’t force yourself into anything, okay?” Negan reminds him softly, reaching up to run a hand through his curls, and he stiffens minutely at the touch until Negan’s hand drops.

“I know. I know.” He buries his face against Negan’s throat, suddenly grateful Negan’s working with him, trying to make him comfortable. After this, he thinks, they’re going to stay in contact. They have to. Rick hadn’t realized how much he’d needed a friend like Negan in his life until now.

“I got you, Rick,” Negan murmurs. “I got you. Sleep.”

Rick is all but helpless to obey, exhaustion taking the place of worry. It seems, lately, that those have been his only two moods; but Negan’s.. comforting, relaxing, fingers rubbing circles in the small of Rick’s back. His eyes close of their own volition and he sinks into sleep, relaxing against Negan’s chest.


	3. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, kicking the door down and walking in three days late with mcdonalds: i'm back fuckers

The next morning Rick’s woken up by the creak of his bedroom door.

He doesn’t bother to stir; it’s probably his mother, he knows, checking on him, so there’s no point in actually getting up. Instead he pulls the sheets up higher and snuggles down more comfortably against Negan’s warmth. As soon as the door closes Negan stirs next to him, huffing reluctantly.

“Is she gone?” Negan mutters, turning over and burying his face in the top of Rick’s head. Rick nods.

“Yeah. She usually pops in.. probably making sure we didn’t run away in the night.” Rick yawns, stretching his arms above his head and sitting up. “She has good intentions, just.. bad execution.”

Negan hums in agreement. Rick’s sure, if he had it his way, they’d still be sleeping; and, truthfully, that _does_ sound nice. It’s cold already, and Rick knows it won’t get much warmer.

When Rick pauses, reluctant to get out of bed, Negan sits up behind him. He tenses a little when Negan’s arms snake around his waist, but he’s too tired to resist, and anyway, Negan’s warm, and after a pause he leans into it. Negan nuzzles into his shoulder with a sleepy sigh.

“Do we have to get up?” Negan mumbles. “We could stay.. sleep..”

“As much as I would love to, I’m sure there’s stuff I have to do.” Rick yawns again as if to prove his point, leaning his head against Negan’s shoulder. “You could stay, though. She can’t get mad at _you_ for sleeping in late..”

“Mm, but there’s no fun in sleeping alone in somebody else’s bed.” Negan shakes his head, releasing his grip on Rick in favor of getting up for clean clothes, and Rick follows suit. “I’ll come with you. I’m sure it’s more entertaining to be awake.”

Rick murmurs agreement as he rummages around in the dresser they’re sharing for underwear. He’s unsettled to find he’s as comfortable as ever with Negan – usually by now he’d be itching for some time apart, somewhere for him to get away for a while, but with Negan..

Negan’s different, Rick thinks, dressing in the bathroom. He may not be very good at the whole _quiet_ thing – hell, he probably talks more than all of Rick’s other friends put together – but he’s got this calming air about him, has this way of making Rick feel relaxed, and it’s _this_ that puts Rick so on edge.

Truthfully, he’s never felt so comfortable with another person. Even his closest friends he tires of, eventually. But even after spending all day, all night, with Negan.. and, admittedly, part of that he was asleep – but their constant contact hasn’t yet begun to grate on him, somehow. The feral anxiety this raises in him urges him to get rid of it – push Negan away, go back to normalcy. Instead he stares into the mirror and reminds himself he can’t, not yet, and anyway, he doesn’t _want_ Negan to leave.

When he finally comes out of the bathroom Negan’s waiting on him, splayed out in bed, but thankfully fully dressed. The older man all but jumps up at his emergence, though, looking ready to start the day, and he chuckles, leading the way out.

“What’s on the schedule for today?” Negan asks as they descend the staircase. Rick frowns thoughtfully.

“I don’t know. Whatever we want, I guess, unless Mom has something planned for us around here – otherwise, we’d be best to stay out from under her feet.”

Suddenly pleased with the thought of getting out of the house, Rick brightens a little. He could go down to the park, maybe do a little sketching – God knows he could work on his backgrounds. He’d mastered his bedroom by the time he was 17, but he’d never gotten to go out long enough to really get down _outside_ : trees, and the grass, and the wind rippling over the surface of the pond where ducks play.

He leaves Negan to step outside for a cigarette and sticks his head into the living room. His mother is.. doing something, he can’t tell from this angle. He raps lightly on the wooden doorframe, and she looks up.

“Good morning, Richard,” She says warmly. “Did you sleep well?”

He nods, glad that her discomfort with his new “partner” seems to have waned slightly. “We’re just going out, unless you need us for something.”

“If you’re going to be in town, you could pick up a few bottles of wine,” She suggests. “I forgot last time I was out.”

“Sure thing. We’re leavin’, then, if there’s nothing else..”

“That’s it. You boys be careful.”

“We will. Bye, Mom.”

She gives him a wave, and he returns to Negan outside, being sure to grab his coat on the way out. Negan grins as he steps out.

“Richard,” Negan says teasingly, and Rick flushes a little. “Where are we off to?”

“I was just, uh.. gonna head to the park. Get in some art practice while I’m here. You don’t have to come with me, though, if you’d rather go-”

“I’m with you.” Negan looks unbothered as ever, beaming at Rick. “I like hangin’ out with you, Rick. You’re an interesting guy.”

The tips of Rick’s ears go pink as he stares uncertainly at Negan. Then he drops his gaze to the porch, obviously embarrassed. “I’m not that interesting,” He mumbles, kicking at a rock on the porch as he takes the stairs to the walkway. Negan barks a laugh, trailing along behind him.

“Sure you are. I mean, you’re interesting to me. I’ve met a lot of people in my life, but you.. I’ve never met someone quite like you before.”

“I’m sure there are lots of guys like me,” Rick protests. Negan shrugs.

“Maybe,” Negan responds mildly, “but if there are, I’ve never met them. I mean.. Rick.. you’re the shyest guy I’ve ever seen, and yet you asked me to fake-date you over Craigslist. Never met a guy like that, you know?”

Rick frowns, tipping his head to the side. He guesses that’s a compliment. Negan moves to pat his back, then clearly decides otherwise at the last moment. Instead, Negan’s hand brushes just barely up along his spine, then pulls away awkwardly. Rick can feel himself blushing, goosebumps lifting along his arms. Rick notices he’s not the only one embarrassed this time, though; Negan’s staring firmly at the sidewalk, refusing to meet Rick’s gaze, pink rising in his face.

“So, um,” Rick says, after they spend several minutes in silence – long enough to reach the park and find a bench to sit on. “You don’t seem very bothered by the cold weather.”

Negan glances down; he supposes, compared to Rick, he probably looks like he’s ready for warmer weather. “Oh, yeah. I grew up further north, so I guess this kind of weather is kind of second nature.” He shrugs a little, adjusting the leather clinging to his shoulders.

“You’re lucky,” Rick says fervently, shaking his head. “Twenty-five years, and I’m still not used to this.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for.” Negan stretches out an arm, and after a brief moment of hesitation Rick snuggles into him. He’s _warm_ , and Rick adjusts to keep as much contact as possible while withdrawing the sketch pad from the depths of his own coat.

“So what exactly do you draw?” Negan prompts curiously, fingers mindlessly stroking Rick’s upper arm. Rick flips open the book as he answers.

“Little bit of everything. Whatever I’m in the mood for. Let’s see, hm..”

He flips through the pages, Negan watching interestedly over his shoulder. He’s got all variety of things in this one – coke cans and beer bottles, and an old man walking his dog outside, and Andrea’s cat, and-

“ _Oh_ ,” Negan says, and Rick turns the pages so violently he nearly tears them out. He’d forgotten he’d been sketching Negan in here – carefully outlining his jaw, his smile, his warm hazel eyes. It’s just about humiliating, especially considering he’d done it not once but dozens of times, from all different angles and perspectives. “You, uh.. you think about me often, Rick?” Negan adds, voice teasing. Rick can feel his face burning.

“You’re a good model,” He says, a little too defensively. Negan chuckles softly, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“I know. Shit, honey, you could have just asked. I woulda helped you.”

“Well, now I know for future reference.” Rick keeps his gaze on the paper and pencil in his hand and tries to pretend he’s not shaking with anything but cold as he sketches the landscape in front of them. He’s suddenly hyper-aware of every little thing – Negan’s arm around his shoulders, fingers gliding along his bicep, breath warm on his skin, and his grip tightens exponentially on his pencil until he thinks he’s going to break it. Negan confuses him, gives him feelings he’s not familiar with, and he’s not even sure where to begin untangling them all.

He wonders if Negan feels the same.

“Uh,” He mumbles abruptly, snapping the sketchbook shut. “Actually, um, my mom wanted us to grab some wine while we’re out. We should.. we should do that.”

Negan backs off then, and Rick tries not to sigh with relief. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be close to Negan – the opposite, actually, but he doesn’t want to give the wrong signals – which, coincidentally, is extremely difficult, considering he doesn’t know what he wants.

“There’s a, um, a grocery store just down the street,” He continues, putting all of his focus into making sure his voice isn’t shaking. “We could go there. It’ll probably be warmer in there, anyway..”

“I’m following you, Rick.”

Rick can practically hear Negan thinking, walking along beside him. He’s clearly trying to decipher what exactly Rick’s angle is, what’s happening in their admittedly tumultuous friendship. _Well, good luck_ , Rick thinks glumly, aiming a kick at a rock in his path. _I don’t even know what’s happening_.

“So what’s the occasion for this wine?” Negan prompts, as they duck into the store and head back to the wine. Rick hums thoughtfully.

“You know, I’m not sure if she intends it to be for Thanksgiving, or just for us. I assume for Thanksgiving, but..”

“Hm.” Negan frowns a little, running a hand over the stubble on his jaw. “Well, nothin’ sayin’ we can’t get some for both occasions, huh?”

He flashes Rick a blinding grin and swipes a few bottles off the shelf. Rick takes one from him and reads the label – but then, Negan’s the bartender, and after a moment Rick shrugs and hands it back.

“Yeah, I don’t know shit about wine,” Rick admits with a shy little smile. “I like whiskey, myself.”

“Now you’re talking!” Negan slings an arm around his shoulders in order to steer him towards the checkout, and after a stiff pause he relaxes into the touch. “Shit, I think wine is a _trying too hard_ drink, you know what I mean, Rick? I prefer Scotch.”

“I actually like bourbon better. It’s, uh.. Scotch is too bitey for me.”

“That’s fair. Scotch is an acquired taste.”

Rick just nods, stepping away to let Negan check out. He envies how easily Negan keeps up conversation with the cashier, how there’s not even a hint of nerves on Negan’s part. If only he could be so relaxed around other people.

He’s too lost in thought to continue their conversation, and Negan doesn’t push him to. That’s one of the things he likes most about Negan, he thinks; when he begins to withdraw, when it’s obvious he’s either unwilling or unable to keep up meaningful conversation, Negan is perfectly content to fill the silence. _Where_ all of it comes from, Rick’s not really sure, but Negan sure is good at talking.

When they get home Rick heads up to the bedroom to change out of his jackets into his sweater. It had been a Christmas gift from an old friend from high school – a gag gift, really, as it’s rather brightly adorned with sequins – but it’s warm as hell, and soft to boot. Probably one of his favorite gifts, actually.

Negan smiles when he comes back down – a real, genuine smile, like he’s something precious. He flashes a tentative smile back as he approaches.

“Don’t you look dashing,” Negan teases softly, when Rick settles on the couch and snuggles into Negan’s side under the giant blanket he’d brought downstairs. “You tryin’ to impress someone?”

“You hush,” Rick chides. “This was a gift.”

“I never said it was bad.” Negan pulls lightly at the fabric, giving Rick a winning grin. “In fact, did I not just say you look dashing?”

“Yeah, well, you had a _tone_.”

“Uh-huh.”

Reflexively Negan presses a kiss to Rick’s temple. It’s minor, just a little thing, but Rick stiffens all the same, and Negan pulls back, clearly disconcerted. After a moment Rick forces himself to relax. He’s going to have to get used to little gestures of affection like that – might as well start.

“Anyway,” Negan adds uncomfortably, “I took those wines to your mom. I’m, uh, not sure she’s all that fond of me..”

“Well, she’s not exactly supposed to be.” Rick reminds him gently. “Other than the fact that, um, you know.. deep South, and all.. they don't particularly, uh, you know.”

“I guess. Still feels weird to purposely make someone not like me, though.”

Rick chuckles softly, leaning his head comfortably against Negan’s shoulder and turning the majority of his attention to the television. “So every other time is on accident?” He teases, and Negan laughs.

“ _Ouch_ , Rick. Okay, maybe a lot of people that hate me, I made them hate me on purpose. But still. This isn’t like that.”

Rick nods. After a moment of silence, save for whatever’s on TV, he slides his hand down between them and tentatively slips it into Negan’s. He can hear Negan’s breath catch for a moment, uncertain, and he squeezes, hoping to get across his intentions – he needs to get used to this, needs to get comfortable with the little things. Finally, after another quick pause, Negan squeezes back, adjusting so he can settle more comfortably.

“I don’t know how we’re going to make this work,” Rick admits in a soft whisper. “I don’t know how to – I can’t..”

“It’s gonna be okay, Rick, I promise. Nobody will suspect anything. Just don’t freak out and we’ll be good to go.”

Rick nods again, tucking himself closer into Negan’s side. He tells himself it’s because of the warmth Negan gives off, and not because Negan makes him more comfortable than anyone else in his life for some ungodly reason.

“Oh, also. Your mother said we could drink some of that wine tonight, if we want,” Negan continues leisurely, nudging Rick’s shoulder lightly with his own. “I dunno about you, but I’m game.”

“Sure.” Rick shrugs. “But I will warn you, you may end up having to knock me out. As soon as I even get a drop of alcohol in me I hate going to bed..”

“That won’t be hard, Rick. Hardest part would be catching you.”

Negan laughs softly, and Rick relaxes, chuckling to himself. Everything just seems so normal right now; between Negan and the soft hum of the TV and the sounds of his mother in the kitchen, he finds himself starting to drift in and out of consciousness on Negan’s shoulder.

“Rick,” Negan murmurs against the top of his head, and he makes a reluctant sound, turning to bury his face in Negan’s throat. Negan chuckles. “Come on, honey, you’re fallin’ asleep. You should at least lay down, you’re gonna kill your back like this.”

Rick groans unhappily, but nevertheless allows Negan to help him get more comfortable. He keeps his face nestled against Negan’s thigh, the blanket pulled up to his chin, Negan’s fingers wound soothingly in his hair, and in the quick flutter of his eyelids before they slip shut he notices his mother coming to.. do something. He’s too sleepy to stay awake to see. He needs a nap – he’s gotten used to waking up later than the ass crack of dawn, and even if it’ll straighten itself out in a few days, right now, he’s much too tired to deal with it.

Negan’s hand strokes once, twice, through his curls. Maybe that’s why he likes the man so much: Negan’s always so gentle with him, so careful, always keeping in mind that he’s skittish and never pushing too hard. If he were just a little more settled in life..

If he were just a little more settled, he could definitely see himself falling for Negan.

He waits for the usual discomfort he gets at those kind of thoughts – the awful chills, the goosebumps that raise along his arms. Instead he just feels relaxed and comfy, like he’s being wrapped in a warm hug.

And maybe it’s because he’s so goddamn sleepy, but even _that_ can’t ruin his good mood.

* * *

His family can tell he’s distracted, he knows. He’s all but unresponsive through dinner, musing over his complicated feelings toward Negan, and it’s not until they get a few glasses of wine in him that he really starts interacting again. By then he can tell the others are starting to wear out, and Jeff and his wife retire early – although, judging by the giggling from the stairwell, they definitely aren’t going to sleep.

“Oh, Richard,” His mother says, ten minutes later, before she heads upstairs to bed, “your father is going to be here tomorrow.” Her gaze scans Negan once, and Rick groans.

“Aw, shit. I mean.. shoot. Yeah, we’ll be.. we’ll be on our best behavior, Mom.”

She nods, although she clearly doesn’t believe him. “Goodnight, boys.”

“Goodnight, Mom,” Rick says, at the same time Negan says, “Night Mrs. Grimes.” Rick giggles a little – the name sounds awkward coming from him. He flashes Rick a glance.

“What’re you laughing at?”

“You sound funny when you say our last name.” He leans his head against Negan’s shoulder, grinning vaguely. “You should.. you should say it more.”

“Christ, Rick, are you already fucked up? Maybe you should be done with the wine for tonight.”

“No, please, one more glass!” Rick holds out his glass, making a pouty pleading sort of face, but Negan just grins and shakes his head.

“Not tonight, Rick, you’ve had enough. Maybe later this week.”

Rick sighs dramatically, but after a pause he nods reluctantly. “You’re right,” He mumbles. “I need to.. calm the fuck down.”

“Yeah, you do.” Negan nudges Rick’s shoulder playfully. Then, after a moment of silence, he adds, “Rick, can I ask you a question?”

“Hit me.”

“Why are you so comfortable with me?” He asks, and when Rick looks confused, he continues, “I mean.. everybody else.. you seem to be reluctant at best to let them even touch you. But me – I mean, don’t get me wrong, you still get uncomfortable sometimes with me, but – you don’t ever.. you seem okay with me. Why?”

“That’s..” Rick hesitates, scuffing his foot on the floor. “That’s a good question,” He says finally. “I don’t really know. You just.. you know how to handle me, I guess. You know how to tell when I’m uncomfortable and you back off when I am.”

Negan nods slowly, clearly processing this. “I just want what’s best for you. I want you to be happy, and as long as you are..”

After the longest pause yet Rick reaches over and twines their fingers together. Now the contact sends a warm tingle up his arm – although that could be the alcohol, now that he thinks about it. Negan stands, coaxes him to his feet, and together they ascend the stairs and head to Rick’s bedroom. Rick’s a little unsteady on his feet, so getting up the damn staircase is a trip.

Contrary to his previous claims, though, as soon as Negan falls into bed he’s not far behind, crawling up against Negan’s side, purring sleepily when Negan’s fingers card through his hair again. He shifts a little, hand splaying out across Negan’s broad chest, but then Negan’s withdrawing with a muffled little yelp, and he frowns, lifting his head.

“Sorry,” Negan mumbles. “Just.. your feet are fucking freezing.”

“Oh. Like this?”

Rick makes a point of shoving his cold feet against Negan’s shockingly warm leg, and Negan hisses, squirming away from him. He laughs, pressing himself back into Negan’s side – although this time he’s careful to keep his feet away.

“Sorry,” He murmurs into the crook of Negan’s throat. “Too much fun.”

“Go the fuck to sleep, Grimes.” Negan chuckles, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Rick’s head; only this time, Rick doesn’t flinch, just makes a contented little sound and snuggles down. Negan sighs softly.

“Goodnight, Rick.”


	4. Day Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAM its been a hot minute!!! sorry for such a long wait, i've been busy as hell

Rick takes a while to wake up in the morning.

For a few long minutes he tries to convince his body to go back to sleep. He’s warm, and safe, wrapped up in Negan’s arms. He can feel Negan breathing hot on the back of his neck. He lets his fingers trace over the back of Negan’s hand, up the arm slung over his waist, feeling the muscle just under the skin. He’s _happy_ , here in bed, and after a moment he turns over and nuzzles into Negan’s chest.

“Good morning,” Negan murmurs, hand smoothing up his back, and he groans. So much for that.

“Wish it wasn’t. ‘m tired.”

“I know.” Negan hums softly, fingers running through his curls. “We could sleep in. What the fuck do we even have to do today?”

“My dad..” Rick groans, shoving his face into Negan’s chest. “Dad’s coming by. We need to be up and there. And _you_ – I know what we agreed, but you need to be on your absolute best behavior. Dad’s already not gonna like you as is, we don’t need to make that worse.”

“Mm, thought that was the point.” Negan’s palm glides back down his spine, fingers dipping up under the hem of his shirt, and he shivers at the older man’s cool skin against his own.

“It is usually.” Rick pauses to yawn, eyelashes fluttering lightly against Negan’s throat. “But.. Dad is.. I mean, the fact you’re a guy isn’t gonna go over well to begin with. He’ll.. just, ah. Please behave yourself. I’m beggin’ you, Negan.”

“Easy, there, tiger.” Negan chuckles softly, pressing a quick little kiss to his temple. “I won’t fuck this up for you, promise.”

Rick nods, sits up. Negan’s smiling at him, real and genuine, and something warm flutters to life in his belly. He can feel warmth in his cheeks, affection rising in his chest like a balloon-

 _Kiss him_.

He’s not sure entirely where the thought comes from, but it’s enough to shatter the dream-like reality he’s in. He shakes his head, pulling further away from the man under him. Negan doesn’t question him, and for that, he’s grateful.

It’s just. He has no idea what to do with himself now. Talking to Negan over the phone had been fine; even the first day had been okay enough. Now he can’t seem to get Negan out of his head, even when they’re apart. The littlest things make him think about the older man – lines on TV or in songs, certain jokes he sees online.

And it’s not like he’s never considered the fact Negan is attractive. He is. He’s a good four or five inches taller than Rick and built like a house, with a sharp jawline and strong features that demand attention. And yet he’s so _gentle_ – he handles Rick as though Rick is precious art, touches feather-light on Rick’s skin, each kiss to Rick’s temple or the back of Rick’s neck chaste and sweet. Even the calluses on his fingertips feel comforting, at this point.

He’s suddenly all too aware of the rising warmth in the pit of his stomach. He swallows it down, taking a deep breath. Now is really not the time for that.

“You okay?” Negan says, when Rick reemerges from the bathroom. Rick glances up with a little frown. _Fuck_. Is it that obvious?

“Fine. Why?”

“You just look kind of pink, is all.” Negan shrugs a little, hands slipping into the pockets of his leather jacket. “You just that nervous?”

“I.. guess so.”

Watching Negan’s face in the sunlight, Rick wonders despairingly if it’s always so hard to figure this kind of thing out. The nagging fear returns that Negan doesn’t feel it, too; surely, a guy like Negan would have already addressed any romantic feelings, just to clear the air. Rick takes one shaky breath, then another, but it’s not until Negan’s arms wrap around him that he realizes he’s shaking.

“Easy, Rick,” Negan murmurs into the top of his head. “It’s gonna be okay, promise.”

Rick just buries his face in Negan’s chest. He feels Negan’s fingers comb lightly through his hair, and he glances up, suddenly wishing they were anywhere but here. Negan’s hazel eyes are sweet and soft, scanning his face; he feels more than sees Negan’s hands moving to cup his face, thumbs stroking his cheeks, gaze dropping to his mouth.

Negan’s just starting to lean down when Rick’s mom calls them from downstairs. Rick jerks back out of Negan’s grasp as if burned, cheeks burning with embarrassment. He says nothing, just turns on his heel and flees the room with his tail between his legs. It’s another moment before he hears the heavy creak of Negan coming down the stairs behind him.

By then, though, he’s already opening the door for his father. It’s clear he got his mother’s genes – his dad is built more like Jeff, stocky and strong. Rick seems to shrink a little away from the guy, which immediately sets Negan on edge.

“Who’s this?” He says, eyeing Negan. Rick bites his lower lip.

“Dad, this is, uh.. this is my – my boyfriend, Negan.”

His father scowls at Negan and turns away from the both of them. Rick sinks back a little further. He counts himself lucky that Jeff and his wife decide to come down just then; their father greets him with much more enthusiasm, bringing Jeff into a bear hug that the two of them seem to have perfected. Today is going to be.. long, Rick supposes weakly.

Rick’s doing his best to avoid everybody, though. He can’t even face Negan right now – not with how confused and _needy_ he feels right now. He can’t convince himself he _wouldn’t_ climb Negan like a tree right here in front of everyone. And.. well. That would just be shit.

But he very well doesn’t want to interact with his family, either. He can’t stand the thought of his father’s disapproving scowl or Jeff’s pity or any of that. Ideally, he could just disappear; but as science isn’t that advanced yet, he settles for secluding himself in his room, sketching the tree in the yard through his window. His mother and brother seem to respect his need for privacy – but–

“Rick?” Negan nudges the door open. “Uh.. are.. are you-?”

“Fine,” Rick says shortly, forcing himself not to turn, not to look at Negan’s concerned hazel gaze. “What do you want?”

“Ah.. I just wanted to..” Negan trails off for a moment; then, “Your dad wants to talk.”

 _Tell him to fuck himself_. Rick bites back the words, nails digging into the palms of his hands, and he sets his pencil down on the desk. “I’ll be down in a minute,” He says instead. After a pause, Negan approaches, boots falling heavy on the wood floor.

“Rick,” Negan says slowly, resting a hand on Rick’s shoulder. “Are you sure you-”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Rick repeats, scowling, and he shrugs off Negan’s hand and stands up abruptly. “Just.. I’m going to go talk to him.”

He ducks away from Negan’s touch, being sure to close the door behind him. He feels a little guilty for being short with Negan, who really hadn’t done anything – but he feels wound up, coiled like a spring, just waiting for a moment to snap.

His father is working in the workshop in the backyard. He stands stiffly in the doorway for a moment, until he’s noticed.

“You called?” He says, when his father looks up.

“I did.” His father wipes his hands on his jeans, frowning at Rick. “Who is that man, really?”

“His name’s Negan. We’re dating. _Really._ ”

His dad sighs, frown deepening. “Boy, I can’t tell if you’re rebelling, or if you’re just ashamed of your girl.”

“I’m not-!” Rick swallows hard, fingers curling. “There’s no girl, and this _isn’t_ a rebellion! Negan and I _are_ dating, and - and I – I love him.”

The weight of the words settles in his chest. Is that what he’s been feeling? He thinks of Negan, left alone in his room, concerned about his well-being, and..

He takes a deep breath, eyes shutting. “This isn’t just a phase,” He says, forcing his voice not to tremble. “I love him, and – and he loves me, and.. if you.. if you can’t wrap your head around it.. then we’ll go.”

He turns away before his father can respond and re-enters the house, breezing up the staircase to his room. Negan’s lounging on his bed, phone in hand; the older man glances up at his approach, seeming a little nervous.

“Rick-“

“Shut up,” Rick mumbles, without venom, crawling onto the mattress and tucking himself in against Negan’s side. “Just shut up. Please.”

His voice breaks on the please, and he buries his face in Negan’s shoulder. After a long moment, Negan wraps both arms around him, one hand winding into his hair and the other coming to rest on his back.

“I’m sorry,” Rick whispers into the leather of Negan’s jacket. “Didn’t mean t’snap. Just.. ‘m sorry I dragged you here. You coulda.. you coulda been with someone else. Someone not fucking fucked up.”

“Don’t apologize, baby,” Negan soothes. “Really. I’d rather be here with you than with anyone else.”

Rick bites back a dry sob. He can feel pressure building in his chest – but he’s desperate not to cry. Not now, not after he's held it together for so long. Negan presses a soft little kiss to his temple.

“I’m sorry,” He says thickly again, unable to help himself. Negan hums.

“It’s okay, Rick. It’s okay.”

Rick feels the tears stinging at his eyes, and then suddenly they’re falling, clinging to his eyelashes and nose and jaw and soaking into Negan’s white shirt. Negan holds him; strokes his hair, rubs his back, lets him cry. It comes out in huge, heaving sobs, his shoulders shaking, each cry that escapes rubbing his throat raw.

He’s not sure how long he cries, or why he stops. Exhaustion, maybe. He only knows he’s suddenly hyper-aware of Negan’s hands on him, the warmth of Negan’s body against his own. He finds himself sinking into Negan’s arms. Every part of him aches; for a moment, he feels as though the weight of his situation will crush him flat right here in his bed.

Then Negan turns over, grip tightening around Rick’s body. He presses another kiss to the top of Rick’s head, fingers gently tipping Rick’s jaw up.

“I’m not going anywhere,” He promises, looking serious. “Promise. You’re fucking stuck with me now, Grimes.”

Rick swallows hard. He closes his eyes, reaching up to wrap his fingers around Negan’s wrist. He feels Negan lean forward; soft lips press to his forehead, gentle and soothing.

“Negan,” Rick manages to choke, voice thick, “I-“

“I know,” Negan murmurs. “I know.”

Later, when Rick has calmed down, Negan withdraws from the bed. Rick turns over to watch him; but he’s just going to the bathroom, and Rick finds his eyes starting to close on their own. After a long few minutes – or maybe just a few seconds, it’s hard to tell – he feels the mattress dip, Negan wrapping both arms around him again.

“Are you alright?” Negan murmurs against the back of his neck, and he nods.

“I am now,” He agrees softly. “Don’t wanna go back out there.”

“Then don’t.”

Negan tugs Rick closer to his chest, presses a kiss behind his ear. Rick hums lightly.

“Think I have to,” He says, “I want you to come with me.”

Negan huffs against his skin. “Of course.”

Rick lets out a long, slow breath. Negan’s warm against his back, strong arms looped around his waist, and the contact is comforting. He rolls over, peering up at the other man. Negan smiles.

“Hey,” Negan rumbles, the corners of his lips pulling up a little. Rick chuckles weakly.

“Hey.”

Negan brushes a curl behind his ear, thumbs over his jaw. “Think you’re ready to face the world, champ?”

Rick swallows, doesn’t answer for a moment. Instead he sits up, trying to soothe the nervous flutter in his chest. He keeps alternating between wanting to withdraw, to shrink into himself, and needing desperately to pull Negan in and never, ever let go. He swallows again, suddenly feeling too hot in his clothes. “Yeah,” He croaks finally. “Let’s go.”

He’s just starting to get up when the door opens. He lifts his head; Jeffrey is peering in, looking a little embarrassed.

“Hey, Rick,” He says awkwardly, “Dad’s about to head out.. wanted me to just tell you he’s sorry about whatever it was he said.”

Rick swallows. He feels Negan come up behind him, one hand coming to rest on the small of his back. “Okay,” He murmurs, steeling himself. Then he ducks past Jeffrey and down the stairs.

Rick manages to catch his father just in the doorway. His father turns to him, looking surprised – and maybe a little remorseful.

“Hi, Richard,” He says softly. “Listen, son.. I.. I didn’t mean what I said. I understand that you – that you feel things differently from me, and.. I shouldn’t have implied you were hiding something.”

Rick softens a little. “I understand, Dad. This isn’t what you’re used to. But Negan and I.. I mean – I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Rick smiles, a little sadly, and accepts the hug his father offers. He’s grateful that they hadn’t left off on a bad note, and while he’s sure his dad still doesn’t quite get it, he’s glad they can get along.

“Proud of you,” Jeffrey says, when Rick returns to him in the kitchen. “That was real big of you, Rick.”

“Well.. he apologized. I’d like to think he genuinely meant it.” Rick smiles weakly. Jeffrey slaps him on the back.

“Good man. On that note.. you ready for dinner?”

* * *

Later, after the rest of the family retreats upstairs, Negan joins Rick on the couch in front of the TV. Rick curls up into his side, nuzzles into his neck, and he wraps both arms around the slighter man.

“Was that as bad as you thought?” Negan prompts, stroking a hand through Rick’s dark curls. Rick chuckles weakly.

“Almost. Glad it’s over.”

Negan chuckles. “I told you it wouldn’t be so bad. Anyway, um. You, uh.. you feelin’ okay? After this afternoon..”

“Yeah.. I’m okay.”

Rick hums softly, letting his fingers brush Negan’s. Negan reaches up to cup his face. The man’s skin is soft, caressing his jaw, thumbing over his cheekbone, and he sighs contentedly, eyelashes fluttering.

“Hey, Rick?” Negan murmurs, and Rick hums again to show he’s heard. “I’m really glad you brought me with you.”

“I’m glad you came,” Rick agrees, peering up at the older man through bright blue eyes. “I.. Negan, I need to tell you-”

“I know.” Negan responds, still gentle as ever. He thumbs over Rick’s cheekbone again. Gently he tips Rick’s head up, thumb ghosting over Rick’s plush lower lip, and Rick’s mouth opens obediently.

Rick can feel his own breath quickening, his heart beating hard in his chest. It feels as though his entire life has been leading up to this. He still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of this whole thing – and he doesn’t know _why_ Negan makes him feel like this – but he knows it makes him feel good. He can feel Negan’s warm breath on his face, sweet with the chocolate cake they’d had for dinner.

He makes to say something, but then Negan’s mouth is covering his own, moving slow. He shivers. Negan’s lips are soft, almost curious, coaxing him to reciprocate, and he begins to respond automatically, reaching up to rest a hand on the side of Negan’s neck.

Then Negan nips lightly at his bottom lip, and he gasps into the kiss with surprise, recoiling a little at the sting. Negan pulls back, brows furrowing with concern.

“Sorry,” Negan says softly, caressing along the curve of Rick’s jaw. “Should have asked first.”

“No, no, it’s – it’s okay.” Rick stumbles over his words, tongue swiping over his lips. His stomach is churning, and there are sparks running up his spine. “You – you – you’re, uh. It’s.. it’s fine.”

Negan relaxes, grinning a little. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”

“Uh-huh,” Rick agrees breathlessly, leaning forward, and Negan meets him halfway. This time he’s more enthusiastic, sliding his fingers into Negan’s hair and shuddering as Negan’s hands find his hips. He’s starting to feel warm all over, mostly in his lower belly, so when Negan’s hand slides down to his thigh he rocks up into it automatically.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Negan mutters appreciatively, giving his thigh a little squeeze. “You’re so hot, Rick.”

Rick whines into the kiss. Negan’s hand begins to ghost higher up, the other resting on his lower back to lay him back on the couch. It’s not until he feels Negan pressing hot and thick against his thigh, though, that it occurs to him what they’re doing, and he pulls back, panting and flushed.

“Wait,” He whispers. “Wait, I don’t – I don’t know if I..”

Negan withdraws as well, concerned. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah, I – I just.. I’m not ready for..” Rick swallows, embarrassed. Negan softens a little and brushes a curl from his face.

“Okay. That’s okay.” Negan offers a soft little smile, sitting back so Rick can sit up. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay?”

Rick nods, but he’s still embarrassed. He sighs. “I’m sorry,” He mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I just.. ugh.”

“Don’t apologize.” Negan wraps an arm around Rick’s shoulders and squeezes, presses a quick kiss to Rick’s temple. “Not your fault. Besides, I don’t mind being patient. I promise.”

Rick nods again, swallowing a little. “Can you – I mean – will – will you kiss me again?” He says tentatively, and Negan softens.

“Yeah. Course.”

Negan kisses him again, tenderly, lightly cupping his cheek. He lets out a shaky breath. When Negan pulls back he lilts forward a little after, and Negan chuckles softly.

“Alright, Rick,” Negan murmurs, thumbing over his slightly swollen lower lip. “Why don’t we head on to bed?”

Rick hesitates, just for a moment. Then he turns his head into the palm of Negan’s hand, brushing a little kiss along the older man’s fingers. “Sure,” He murmurs, eyes slipping shut. “Let’s go to bed.”


	5. Day Four

He wakes to a warm body curled around his own, fingers threaded through his own, with the feeling of Negan’s breath on the back of his neck. For a moment he lays still, willing himself to go back to sleep; but when that fails, he turns over, trying to be careful not to wake Negan.

This proves to be unnecessary, though, because as soon as he turns to his other side Negan’s hazel gaze meets his own blue one. Negan hums at the sight of him, expression softening.

“Hey, honey,” Negan murmurs, reaching up to brush his fingers across Rick’s face. Rick makes a pleased sound.

“Hey.”

This is nice, he thinks. He’s comfortable, here with Negan – comfortable in a way that nobody else can make him feel. Gently Negan guides him in for a kiss, and he purrs softly into it, melting into Negan’s body.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Negan says softly in between kisses, fingers creeping down to rest on his side. “How’d I get so lucky?”

“A Craigslist ad,” Rick responds teasingly. Negan laughs.

“Fair enough.”

Negan tentatively begins to deepen the kisses, licking into Rick’s mouth. Rick allows it. He likes the intimacy of it; and he likes how gentle Negan is, tongue moving cautiously against his own, lips soft. He sighs happily, sinking further into Negan’s arms. Slowly Negan rolls them over, laying gently on top of Rick.

“Is this okay?” Negan prompts, pulling back a little. Rick bites his lower lip.

“I.. I think so.”

Negan’s slow to dip back down, giving him a chance to pull away. He doesn’t. Instead he lets Negan kiss him again, one hand running through his curls, and he even goes so far as to wind his arms around the older man’s shoulders, pulling Negan in closer. Negan groans softly against his lips.

“You’re wonderful, you know that?” Negan rumbles, fingers creeping up under Rick’s shirt. “My wonderful boy.”

Rick shivers with pleasure, pawing at Negan’s back. Negan’s mouth trails down to his throat, kissing and sucking gently, and he arches a little at the sparks of pleasure. Negan continues purring praises into the crook of his neck; the sweet words make him shake and whine, eagerly lifting his hips to meet Negan’s.

He’s almost embarrassed to be hard right now. He knows it’s natural – after all, they’re lying in bed, making out, with Negan between his legs nearly grinding against him, sucking on his neck, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear. Regardless, though, he feels like he’s too easy, getting aroused from just this. He pulls back, feeling suddenly shy.

“What’s the matter?” Negan prompts, leaning back as well. He swallows.

“It’s just.. I’m..” He glances down between them at the growing tent in his boxers, and Negan softens.

“Nothin’ wrong with that, honey,” Negan murmurs, leaning down to kiss gently along Rick’s earlobe. “If it makes you feel better.. me too.”

He pushes his crotch against Rick’s thigh, and Rick can feel his erection through the soft cotton. Rick whines, reaching up to grasp at the back of Negan’s neck as Negan begins to kiss him languidly again. Slowly Negan shifts so their crotches are pushing together with each lazy roll of Negan’s hips. The first time makes Rick gasp sharply; it feels _good_ , Negan’s cock rubbing against his own, and he can’t help himself.

“You okay, baby?” Negan purrs, fingers raking up under his shirt. He gives a little involuntary sound.

“Yeah. Just – f-feels good, when you..” He trails off nervously, peeking up at Negan. Negan smirks a little.

“When I do this?” He grinds down against Rick again, and Rick whines in the back of his throat, eyelashes fluttering. “You like that, Rick?”

“Yes,” Rick gasps, lips falling open. “Please – keep – keep going.”

“That’s a good boy.” Negan carefully rucks his shirt up, and he squirms until Negan pulls it off. The cool air makes him shiver. “Such a pretty boy,” Negan adds in a low growl, fingers skimming the expanse of his chest and stomach. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Rick.”

His mouth attaches to one pink nipple, and Rick arches, groaning with pleasure. It makes him feel good; it sends sparks up his spine, and he grasps at Negan’s hair, urging him to do more. Negan’s tongue flicks out against the bud, swirling in circles, teeth scraping the sensitive flesh until it’s flushed pink and abused.

“Negan,” He whimpers, hips pushing up. “Negan, more, more.”

“Good,” Negan praises, pulling back for a few moments, although he’s still rolling Rick’s nipple between forefinger and thumb. “Good.. tell me what you want, Rick.”

“Th-the other one,” Rick begs softly, blue eyes round, and Negan obliges, dipping down to give the other nipple the same treatment. Rick arches into the warmth, making a little sound of pleasure. It feels so _good_ , Negan pressing down on top of him, sucking on his chest – he’s not sure what to do with himself except thrust upward, pushing his own hard cock against Negan’s.

“Ne-Negan,” He pants, his voice two octaves higher than usual, “Negan, I can’t – I’m gonna-”

“Let go,” Negan says, lips pulling away from his nipple to move up to his throat again. “Let go for me, honey.”

Rick can’t help himself. His entire body tenses, shaking in Negan’s arms, and he digs his nails into Negan’s shoulders as he comes, soaking the front of his boxers. Negan groans against his shoulder, and Rick feels him come, too, rutting against Rick’s hip until he’s finished.

For a moment they lay together, panting and sweaty. Then Negan rolls off and onto the mattress, giving a whistle of admiration.

“Damn, Rick,” He says contentedly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. “That was fan-fucking-tastic. Or.. fan-grinding-tastic, I guess, heh.”

Coming down from the high of his orgasm, Rick’s mind clears enough to think about this – to think about what they’ve just done. Suddenly his stomach lurches and he rolls out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom. “Was it that bad?!” He hears Negan cry after him, but then he’s slamming the door, locking it tight behind him. The closeness of the bathroom is somewhat comforting, and he sinks to the floor.

He’s trembling. He watches his hands shake for a moment. He can’t believe he’d done that – just allowing Negan to take him apart like that, make him come. Tears burn his eyes and he tries to shake them away, taking a deep breath. He feels sick; each breath is more painful than the last. He can’t help but to feel like he’s done something wrong, sleeping with Negan like that.

His stomach flips over, and he barely manages to throw himself forward before he’s dry heaving into the toilet. He wants Negan so much it hurts and it _terrifies_ him, and he feels so _easy_ , not just allowing Negan to touch him, kiss him, grind on him, but the fact that he’d come so quickly. He’d _begged_ for it, even, hadn’t he? Asked Negan to keep going, to make him come? And, fuck, if he’s that easy.. if he’s that easy, Negan might not be so interested anymore.

Negan knocks on the door a couple of times, asking if he’s alright, but he doesn’t respond, and eventually Negan leaves. He stays in the bathroom for a long while, curled up next to the toilet with his heart in his stomach. When he does come out his bedroom is empty, so he quickly changes into real clothes and stumbles down the stairs. He doesn’t see Negan anywhere; and the realization makes his heart sink even further, fear grasping cold at his heart. Maybe Negan had decided to leave – decided he wasn’t worth it, with all of his issues, all of his _easiness_. He puts a hand over his eyes, trying to calm himself down.

He takes a deep breath, then two. He doesn’t know why things can’t just be easy, for once. Last night had been easy; it had been easy to let Negan kiss him. But this.. this isn’t easy, and he hates it.

He casts a glance out the front window and relaxes. Negan’s out in the driveway, working on one of the cars, muscles exposed by the white tank top he’s adorned. Rick glances away, trying to settle his racing mind. At least Negan is still here. That’s what counts.

He ducks out the back door instead. Jeffrey and his wife are in the yard, carefully tending to the shrubs. He watches them for a moment, feeling desperately jealous at their amicable conversation. Then Jeffrey glances up and waves him over.

“Hey,” He says, giving Rick a friendly grin that Rick can’t make himself return.

“Hey. Need some help?”

“Sure.” Jeff hands him a trowel, then glances back and forth, frowning a little. “Where’s Negan? You guys are never apart willingly. Even Dad couldn’t keep you away from him.”

“It’s..” Rick sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s been a long morning.”

“Did you two have a fight?” Jeff presses, eyebrows raising. Rick sighs again.

“Not.. not exactly.” He shoves the trowel into the dirt, a frown pulling at his lips. “I just.. did something questionable. Something I don’t know if I should have.”

“Did you try talking to him about it?”

Rick scowls at the ground. “It’s not that easy, Jeff, and you know that. I just.. can’t do that.”

Jeff puts a hand on his back, and he shrugs it off. He doesn’t want to touch anyone right now. Jeff is about to say something, he thinks, but then he catches sight of Negan rounding the corner of the house, and he blurts out a goodbye and flees back indoors. He hears Negan call after him, but right now, he can’t face Negan. He just can’t.

* * *

Negan scowls after Rick, folding his arms. Jeff glances up at him.

“The hell’s going on with you two?”

“Fuck if I know,” Negan grunts, settling in Rick’s newly vacated place. “He won’t talk to me. Won’t even let me get close.”

“What did you do?” There’s no accusation in Jeff’s voice, just curiosity, but Negan bristles anyway.

“I didn’t do shit. At least – I didn’t fucking think so.”

“You take him to bed?” Jeff prompts, and Negan’s scowl deepens.

“Kind of. We kept our clothes on. But I didn’t think – he encouraged me, I thought he wanted to. _Fuck!_ ” Negan shakes his head, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I didn’t mean to hurt him or anything..”

“I’m sure you didn’t hurt him.” Jeff puts a hand on his shoulder, and he slumps, sighing unhappily. “Really, don’t worry about it too much. He gets like this sometimes – gets all skittish and shit. ‘Specially when he starts stepping out of his comfort zone. He won’t say anything about it, but if you ask me, something happened to him that he’s blocked out to make him scared of people the way he is. Just give him some space, he’ll come around.”

“Okay.” Negan picks up the discarded trowel and sighs. “Fuck. I hope you’re right.”

* * *

Once inside, Rick makes for the kitchen, where his mother is preparing dinner. She looks up at his entrance and smiles at him.

“Hi,” She says, tipping her head. “Everything alright?”

“It’s.. eh.” Rick plops himself on one of the bar stools, frowning. He wonders idly if it’s too early for a drink. “Negan and I.. I don’t know. I did something I don’t know if I.. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with. And now..”

“And now you’re avoiding him,” His mother concludes, and he lets out a sigh.

“And now I’m avoiding him,” He agrees glumly. “I feel bad, but – I just..”

“Honey,” His mother says, covering one of his hands with hers. “Listen. If he loves you, he’ll want to help you. You need to talk to him.”

“Jeff said the same thing.” He chuckles weakly, combing a hand through his curls. “I’m scared, Mom. I don’t want him to leave.”

“What did I just say?” She tuts a little, clearly not actually angry, and returns to the cooking. “If he loves you, he’ll help.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

She gives him a pointed look; they both know the answer to that question. He sighs, shaking his head. “It’ll be alright,” She says comfortingly. “Why don’t you come help me with dinner to take your mind off of it in the meantime?”

Rick allows Negan to sit next to him at dinner, which he thinks is progress. He still can’t look directly at the man; every time he tries, his brain short-circuits and instead he looks at the plate, or the floor, or something else in the vicinity that’s _not_ Negan. Still, he thinks he’s doing alright just sitting close, and besides that his family seems to pick up on his discomfort and they’re making plenty of jokes to keep everyone occupied. Hell – Jeff’s wife tells a joke so funny wine comes out of Jeff’s nose, which only makes all of them laugh harder.

Negan is the first to retire from the table. Rick hangs around for a few moments, trying to work up the courage to duck through the living room and up the stairs. If he can make it to his bedroom, he thinks, he can wait for Negan to come to bed before they talk. He takes a couple of soothing breaths, rubbing at his eyes.

Before he can even climb the stairs, though, Negan’s calling him from the couch. He freezes with one foot on the first stair, feeling like a deer in the headlights.

“Rick,” Negan says again, and Rick turns slowly to face him. He’s standing nearby, hands in his jeans pockets, and Rick tries desperately not to think about the fact he’s still wearing that damn white tank top. “Can we talk?”

Rick swallows the nervousness that builds in his chest and nods mutely. He doesn’t trust himself to open his mouth; he’s not sure what will come out. He follows Negan back over to the couch on stumbling legs, trying to decide what he’s going to say.

“I’m sorry,” He blurts out, before Negan can speak, when they’re settled in front of the coffee table. “I didn’t mean to freak out and avoid you – I mean, I meant to avoid you, but I couldn’t help it, I’m just nervous, and I don’t want you to think bad of me, and-”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down.” Negan holds both hands up, raising his eyebrows with surprise. “What are you talking about? Why are you sorry – why would I think badly of you?”

“Because – because I..” Rick squirms, hiding his face behind his hands. “Because of this mornin’. I didn’t mean – I just.. let you do that. And I – you know – so fast, I.. I just..”

“Honey..” Negan softens, and when he gently tugs Rick’s hands down, Rick lets him. “Baby, if you didn’t want to, I would have stopped. Really.”

“It’s not that you – I wanted to. I wanted to so bad.” Rick shakes his head, eyes closing. “But that – that scares me, Negan. I don’t know.. I don’t know why I keep..”

Negan tentatively rests a hand on his back, and when he doesn’t flinch, shifts to pull him in for a side hug. He leans into Negan’s warmth automatically. Negan gently squeezes his bicep, presses a kiss to his temple.

“It’s okay, Rick. Sometimes you just.. get these feelings. Nothin’ to be scared of. Besides – that’s what I’m here for, right? Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“I don’t know.” Rick shifts, burying his face in the crook of Negan’s throat. “I don’t know what I want. I just.. want you to stay. Please.”

“Of course I will, honey.” Negan runs a hand through his curls gently, fingers running down his cheek after. “As long as you want me to.”

Rick nods. He shifts into Negan’s lap and curls against the man’s chest, and Negan’s arms slip down to wrap around his waist. He’s still trembling; he can’t seem to stop; but Negan’s hold is still as soothing as ever, and it’s not long before he’s relaxing, still nuzzled close against Negan’s shoulder. He’s so relaxed, actually, he’s starting to doze a little, and Negan adjusts him so he’s resting more comfortably.

“I’m not going anywhere, Rick,” Negan murmurs. “I promise.”


	6. Day Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally

Rick comes to in his own bed, slowly and sleepily. He’s tangled up in the sheets with Negan; he can feel the older man’s breath on his neck where Negan is curled into him, his hand resting on Negan’s back. It’s nice, he thinks, just resting like this.

“Good morning,” Negan mumbles against his shoulder, startling him a little. He glances down. Negan is peering back up at him, looking sleepy but pleased, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Mornin’,” Rick responds as he relaxes, yawning midway through. “Sleep okay?”

“Mm.” Negan nuzzles into his neck, free hand reaching up to cup the other side, holding him close. “Seem to sleep better when you’re here.”

Rick hums. “That’s good,” He murmurs. “Glad I can be that for you.”

He feels Negan smile a little. He runs his hand through Negan’s hair, content and still a little sleepy. Then, gently, Negan begins to pepper kisses on his neck; and, truthfully, this wakes him up much better than any coffee. Negan’s lips are soft and gentle, caressing, and Rick squirms, his breathing hitching weakly.

“Mmh.. Negan,” He breathes, eyelashes fluttering. He can feel Negan’s smirk against his skin. Then Negan’s hands slide down his chest, slipping up under his shirt to circle lightly around one nipple. The familiar stroke of fear stabs him, then, and he pulls back a little, breath trembling.

“Are you okay?” Negan prompts, withdrawing immediately. He takes a deep breath.

“Yeah,” He says finally. “I.. I want to do this. I want to. I’m just.. scared. But I don’t want to be, I’m tired of being scared. So..”

Negan’s looking at him gently, so fucking gently that Rick wants to crawl into his arms and stay there. Instead, he dips his head and kisses the other man, grasping at the back of Negan’s neck. Negan hums happily, cautiously looping an arm around Rick’s waist – and then, when Rick doesn’t pull away, he tugs Rick on top of him. Rick makes a pitiful little sound, dragging his legs up around Negan’s waist. This has been building up for so long.. it feels nice to  _do_ something about it, and Rick desperately wants more.

“Oh, baby,” Negan rumbles, hands moving to run through Rick’s curls. “So beautiful, Rick. So wonderful.”

Rick makes a pitiful sound, quietly ducking his head to bury his face in the crook of Negan’s neck. He feels Negan’s fingers slide down his spine, dipping under the band of his boxers, and the touch makes him tremble. He’s starting to get aroused now, cock twitching in his underwear, and Negan’s free hand hitches one of his legs up closer so he’s properly straddling the older man.

“Make me so hard,” Negan breathes against his ear, pulling his hips down and grinding up against him at the same time, and he makes a little needy noise in the back of his throat. “Fuck, baby, I want you fucking bad.”

“I’m ready,” Rick responds. “Please.”

Negan flips them so Rick is laying with his back against the mattress, head on the pillows. Rick flushes, bites his lip, as Negan kneels between his thighs. His bulge is obvious now, as is Negan’s, but Negan doesn’t speak, just gently cups one hand over it. His breathing hitches, eyelashes fluttering with desperation.

“Mmh, Negan,” He mumbles, pushing his hips up into Negan’s touch. “More.”

“Sweet boy,” Negan says softly. “My sweet, beautiful, wonderful boy.”

Negan palms him gently through his boxers, watching his face as he squirms. He can’t help it; he’s sensitive. After a moment he cracks his eyes open, and he blushes under the intensity of Negan’s gaze.

“Y-you just gonna look at me?” He breathes, embarrassed, and finally Negan cracks a grin.

“Thought about it. I mean, baby, you _are_ something to look at. But fuck – you know what, I just can’t help myself when it comes to you, Rick.” Negan dips down, then, presses their lips together hard enough that Rick knows his lips will be swollen for a while. He doesn’t mind. He makes a pleased sound, throwing both arms around Negan’s shoulders, as Negan rocks down into him, hand sliding instead to rest on the mattress next to his head.

“Negan,” He moans weakly, shuddering at the feeling of Negan’s hard cock against his own. “Mmh – _fuck_..”

“Sure thing, princess,” Negan chuckles, and if Rick didn’t feel so good, he might have chastised Negan for the joke. As it is, all he can do is grasp needily at Negan’s hair as the older man’s mouth moves to his neck, sucking and kissing gently against the bare flesh. He’s so hard it hurts; the grinding is quickly becoming not enough, and when Negan’s fingers hook in the band of his boxers to tug them off, he almost sobs with relief.

“So fucking hard for me, aren’t you?” Negan purrs. “Yeah, baby.. it’s okay. Turns me on knowin’ I turn you on.”

Rick whines. Seeming pleased even with the lack of response, Negan kisses down to his chest, pushes his shirt up in order to suck gently on one nipple. The feeling elicits a groan from the slighter man, who arches into Negan’s touch with a needy sound of pleasure. Negan purrs.

“Feel good, Rick?” Negan murmurs, peeking up at Rick, who nods.

“Uh-huh.”

“Good.” Negan’s hips press down against Rick’s again, and Rick makes a pleading sound.

“W-want more. Please,” He whimpers, head falling back against the pillows, hitching one leg up around Negan’s waist. “Negan.”

“I got you, baby,” Negan soothes, pulling away from Rick’s chest. “I know. I’m here, I got you.”

He tugs off Rick’s shirt all the way, then leans down and slowly kisses down Rick’s belly, eyes fixed on Rick’s face. Rick’s breathing hitches. Negan’s lips are soft against his skin; goosebumps follow in their wake, making him shiver.

“You okay if I touch you?” Negan checks, glancing up at Rick, when he reaches the younger man’s thighs. Rick nods.

“I’m okay. Please.”

Negan wraps one hand around Rick’s cock, dragging up the length and thumbing over the damp tip. The sudden contact makes Rick yelp, biting his lip in an attempt to stifle it, his hips bucking up, and Negan chuckles a little.

“How’s that?” He prompts, continuing to stroke, and Rick groans wordlessly at first, mind blanking out.

“G-good,” He manages, voice shaky and eyelashes fluttering. “ _Ngh_ – more..”

“My pretty boy,” Negan coos softly, watching him through half-lidded eyes. “Yeah.. you’re so gorgeous, baby. I’m gonna make you feel so _good_.”

“You – you do,” Rick breaks off abruptly with a weak “oh!” as Negan presses a kiss to the tip, then begins to suck gently on it. He’s achingly sensitive down there, and he can’t stop the high-pitched, needy moan that escapes him as Negan’s lips wrap fully around the head.

The pleasure is all-consuming, and it makes Rick feel lightheaded. He can’t think outside of the warm wetness of Negan’s mouth as the older man sucks him in deeper. His fingers scrabble desperately at Negan’s hair, trying to find anything to ground him to reality – but the only things he can really focus on are the hands on his thighs, the mouth around him, the tongue working the sensitive vein and slit of his cock. He’s never felt pleasure like this before; his legs shake, body trembling with the urge to thrust upwards.

“N-Negan,” He chokes, trying to stifle the hiccups and sobs of ecstasy. “Negan, pl-please, so good, baby, please, more-”

Negan glances up at Rick, looking amused even with the other man’s cock in his mouth. The sight nearly makes Rick cry. Instead he throws his head back to the pillows again, a wordless, pleading moan slipping through his lips.

“Beautiful,” Negan rumbles, pulling off of Rick with a wet _pop_. “My wonderful, beautiful boy.”

He kisses all over Rick’s stomach and chest and thighs, murmuring praises until Rick squirms and flushes with embarrassment. Rick can’t quite wrap his head around Negan’s kindness; he’s never had somebody be quite so good to him before. And Negan.. the man is pure filth wrapped in a deceiving little bow, and although he’s been _so_ sweet to Rick so far, it’s still a little baffling to Rick.

“So good,” Negan murmurs, nuzzling against Rick’s thigh. “So sweet for me, baby, so gorgeous. Your body’s so fucking gorgeous, Rick. _Fuck_ , I want you so bad, honey.”

“Please,” Rick whines, “want you too, please.”

Negan purrs softly, kissing up Rick’s thigh until he reaches the crook. “I know, Rick. Gonna take care of you, okay?”

Rick nods. Negan buries his face between Rick’s legs without warning, tongue pushing against Rick’s hole, and Rick groans, leg hitching up automatically. It’s a peculiar feeling, Negan carefully licking into him – but it’s not bad, he thinks. In fact, it’s almost.. pleasant.

“Negan,” He mumbles, “mmh.. feels good.”

Negan purrs. Negan’s tongue actually feels nice, working him open with even, broad strokes, and after a few moments Rick relaxes into it, soft, breathless whines leaving his throat. This is the first time he’s had anything inside him, really – he’d tried with his fingers, once, but it hadn’t gone so well, and he’d never tried again. But this is  _good_ ; Negan really knows what he’s doing. Rick feels like he could probably ascend to a higher plane of existence like this.

“Baby,” He sighs. “Baby, baby, so good.. k-keep goin’, Negan, baby, please.”

Negan obliges, eating him out even more enthusiastically and making him moan, making his hips buck. It feels _so good_ – he can feel Negan’s tongue inside him, working him open, and the older man’s thumbs are pulling him apart now too, making him feel almost overwhelmed, like a spring coiled too tight. His cock throbs against his belly, leaking and smearing precome against his skin, and for one uncertain moment, he thinks he might come early.

“St-stop, stop,” He gasps, and Negan rears back, looking distressed.

“Are you okay?”

“I – I’m-” Rick can’t seem to find his voice for a moment, and he swallows hard, trying to calm himself down. “I’m okay,” He pants finally, eyes closing. “Just.. ‘m really close.. ‘m gonna come if you keep going, and I don’t wanna..”

Negan relaxes, breathing out in relief. “Shit, honey, that’s okay. Fuck. I thought I’d hurt you or something.”

“I’m sorry.” Rick flushes, embarrassed, and drops his gaze. “I.. I couldn’t think..”

Negan softens. Gently he cups Rick’s face, tilts Rick’s head back up. “It’s okay,” He soothes. “It is, baby, I promise. Just scared me is all, okay? No big deal. Hell.. that’s kinda hot, makin’ you feel so good you forgot how to think..”

Rick nuzzles against Negan’s hand. Gently Negan guides him into a kiss, thumbing over his cheek, and he sighs, melting back into the bed.

“So do you want to keep going?” Negan murmurs against it, pulling back a little, and Rick nods shyly.

“If.. if you want to.”

“Hell yeah I do.” Negan sits back, hands running down Rick’s sides and thighs. “You got any lube?”

“No.” Rick flushes deeper, teeth sinking into his lower lip. “I don’t.. you know..”

“That’s okay.” Negan hums, kissing Rick again quickly, then slips out of bed and pads over to his jacket hanging on the desk chair. Rick watches curiously as he rummages through the pockets, then withdraws a small bottle. Then he hops back onto the bed and resumes his place between Rick’s thighs, smiling softly. “Just stay relaxed, okay?”

Rick nods again. He allows Negan to spread his legs, feeling oddly, intimately, exposed. He watches uncertainly as Negan slicks two fingers. Then Negan carefully presses one finger into him, watching his face as it scrunches with discomfort.

“You okay?” Negan prompts, easing the digit all the way into him. He grimaces, breathing short.

“I’m..” He takes another breath, deeper this time. “Fine,” He says finally. “Feels weird.”

“You get used to it.” Negan chuckles softly, free hand brushing the sweaty curls from Rick’s forehead. “Think you can take another, champ?”

“Yeah. Hit me.”

Rick bites back a hiss as Negan begins to slide in the second finger. The stretch burns; but it’s not unpleasant, and Rick can feel himself relaxing around it. A low, throaty “ _fuck_ ” escapes him, unbidden, and Negan pauses.

“Rick?”

“Fine,” Rick grits out, panting softly. “Hurts a little, but I’m – _shit_  – I’m okay. Keep going. Please.”

Negan obliges, gaze fixed on Rick’s face. Rick can’t seem to stop shaking; it doesn’t feel quite as good as he’d been expecting, but he’s overwhelmed either way, his nerves on fire under Negan’s touch. He’s so sensitive he thinks he might cry.

“You’re doing good, Rick,” Negan murmurs, both fingers now buried fully inside Rick. “So, so good, baby. My beautiful, wonderful, good baby boy.”

Rick shudders under the praise, eyelashes fluttering. Negan’s leaving kisses all over his skin, murmuring sweet nothings in between, and Rick feels so warm with it all, so good.

“You can – you can..” The words won’t all come, but Negan gets it, thank God. He crooks both fingers inside Rick, and Rick makes a strangled sound, throwing his head back.

“You’re tight, honey,” Negan rumbles, beginning to work both fingers in and out of Rick. “Real tight. Gonna feel so good on my dick, baby.”

Rick groans weakly, pulling his legs up higher, feet sliding on the sheets. Negan’s fingers gently press against his walls, rubbing the sensitive nerves, until he squirms, hips pushing back into the digits. He feels good, now – or he’s starting to, with the sparks running up his spine from Negan’s touch. A groan is torn from his throat as Negan’s fingers curl again.

“ _Negan_ ,” He pants, voice whiny and shaky. “More.”

Negan gives him what he wants in the form of pressing on his prostate. His hips buck and he bites on his fist to stifle a cry of pleasure – he’s not sure who’s home right now, but he really doesn’t want anybody to hear them. He’s never felt anything quite so good before, and he can’t help rocking down into it.

“That good, baby?” Negan chuckles, and Rick groans wordlessly, throwing one arm over his eyes. He can’t form anything even close to coherent with Negan rubbing his sweet spot. He’s seeing stars behind his eyelids; moans and whimpers escape him involuntarily, lips parted around them. Negan seems a little amused by his lack of control.

“Want – want you,” He gasps, when he finally manages to string words together, after what feels like an eternity. “Negan, please.”

“Okay, honey.” Negan pulls his fingers out, and Rick gives a pitiful whine at the sudden emptiness. “Take a breath.”

Rick obeys, taking a deep, slow breath. His heart is racing; he can hear it in his ears, and it occurs to him now that he’s shaking uncontrollably. When he finally starts to relax, Negan brushes a few sweaty curls away from his forehead and presses a kiss in their place.

“You sure you're okay to keep going?” Negan prompts gently. Rick nods.

“I’m fine,” He breathes. “J-just want you to fuck me.”

“Okay.” Negan sits back and quickly shucks his boxers. Rick’s breath hitches. He’s seen naked men before, of course, but somehow Negan’s bare body makes him more flustered than ever. He sits up.

“Can I touch you?” The words tumble from his mouth automatically, and Negan glances up, surprised.

“You want to?”

Rick nods again. Negan hums and settles back, open to Rick’s touch. Slowly, tentatively, Rick wraps his fingers around the base. It’s warm and thick and throbs in his hand, and he flushes, gently dragging his hand up the length. Negan makes a breathy sound of pleasure.

“I’m not made of glass, honey,” Negan murmurs, eyelashes fluttering. “Don’t be scared of it.”

Rick takes a breath. He tightens his grip a little as he strokes, eyes lifting to Negan’s face. Negan’s eyes are closed, lips parted slightly and cheeks flushed, and the sight is achingly pretty. Negan’s cock feels.. natural, almost, throbbing and leaking hot and heavy in his hand. Keeping in mind what he’s seen, he thumbs over the tip of Negan’s dick, collecting precome on his thumb. Negan groans.

“Is this good?” Rick says softly, biting his lower lip. Negan sighs happily.

“Yeah, baby. That's real fucking good. You wanna get down there and suck it for me?”

Rick falters. Negan notices the discomfort and opens his eyes, expression softening a little. Rick’s not sure if he’s supposed to – after all, Negan had done it for him.. but he doesn't know if he can, or if even wants to-

“You don’t have to,” Negan soothes, at the uncomfortable look on his face. “If you don’t want to. We can move right along.”

“I’m sorry,” Rick mumbles, pulling his hand back. “I just don’t..”

“It’s okay.” Negan guides Rick forward by the back of his neck and presses a kiss to his forehead. “It really is. I don’t mind, baby. Do you still want me to make love to you?”

Rick startles a little at the phrase, cheeks going pinker than before. He hadn’t really thought about it in that context, but..

“Yeah,” He says softly. “Please.”

Negan gently lays Rick back on the bed, hands cupping his head and fingers wound through his curls. Rick gazes up at him. He looks so soft and gentle, hazel eyes filled with adoration. Rick gets that feeling again – he’s safe with Negan.

“You ready?” Negan prompts. Rick nods, and Negan’s hands withdraw in order to grab the lube and slick his cock.

Rick’s breath hitches a little as Negan lines up with his hole. This is it, he thinks, looping both arms around Negan’s shoulders; he’s not going to chicken out. Not from this. Slowly Negan begins to push in, eliciting a whiny, breathy gasp from Rick.

The breach stings; but like Negan’s fingers, it’s not entirely unpleasant. His head falls back desperately, curls fanning out across the pillows. Negan cups his face gently, thumbing over his cheek and lower lip, and his mouth opens obediently, panting hot against Negan’s fingers.

“Feels good, baby,” Negan breathes, eyes closing. “Real fuckin’ tight, Rick.”

Rick can’t speak. He’s being filled, and it feels _good_ , Negan’s length rubbing harshly against the nerves inside him the further in Negan pushes. He doesn’t realize he’s whimpering until Negan pauses, fingers brushing his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Negan prompts, voice strained but gentle. Rick nods.

“Bet-better than okay.” He huffs, teeth sinking into his lip. “Keep – keep.. please..”

Negan obliges, easing himself further into Rick’s body. Rick groans weakly; it feels _so_ good, and it takes everything he has not to push himself down into it. By the time Negan’s fully buried inside him, he’s shaking, lips parted with needy gasps and whines. He hitches both legs up around Negan’s waist, and Negan adjusts a little to ease the pressure.

“Negan,” Rick whines weakly, eyelashes fluttering. “Fu-fuck – move, please.”

“You sure, baby?” Negan says gently. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“’m fine. Just move – j-just fuck me.”

Negan does so. Slowly he pulls back, gripping Rick’s legs, and Rick’s breathing hiccups a little at the friction. Then his hips snap forward, and Rick lets out a high-pitched “ _ah!_ ” as it happens, nails scrabbling at Negan’s shoulders. Negan growls softly in response, falling into a rhythm of slow, deep thrusts, rocking Rick's body. He's so gentle, so sweet; Rick feels fantastic, relaxing into the movements. This, he thinks, is what making love should be like.

Still, it can't last. He's been holding it for so long - he's desperate.

“Mo-more,” He breathes, arching his back, hips pushing back against Negan’s. “Negan – good, so good –  _mmh_.. more, please..”

Negan doesn’t respond, but his thrusts grow harder, faster, making Rick jolt with each inward movement. He’s panting hot against Rick’s neck, kissing and sucking on the bare skin until bruises begin to form. Rick buries his face in Negan’s shoulder in a half-hearted attempt to stifle the cries and moans leaving him. Really, he couldn’t stop them if he tried. His head is spinning, his entire body alight with pleasure as Negan pounds relentlessly into him, and for all he knows, he could be screaming – he just can’t tell.

“Please,” He sobs, “f-feels so good, Negan, please, more-”

“That’s good, baby,” Negan groans. “S-so good, Rick – so tight, t-taking me so good.. I got you, honey, I’m here, I got you..”

Everything is moving so fast, Rick thinks. Negan’s control is slipping, has been slipping, he can tell, by how needy Negan sounds, how harshly Negan’s fucking him. He feels so desperately close to orgasm; he’s on fire, he’s so hyper-sensitive. Negan’s hips slam hard into his own; he can vaguely hear the slap of skin against skin over the roar of his heartbeat.

“Close,” He hiccups. “Close, close, Negan, I’m g-gonna, gonna come-”

“Good.” Negan nips at his throat, arms tightening more around Rick’s waist (when had they gotten there? Rick’s too far gone to know). “Come for me, baby.”

It doesn’t take long before Rick does – only a couple more thrusts and he’s there, shooting up along his belly and chest and against Negan’s own stomach. He shakes and sobs and hiccups as he comes, clutching desperately at Negan, and Negan kisses him hard, fucking into Rick through his own orgasm. Rick feels warmth flooding into him, and the feeling makes him shudder, another small sob escaping into the kiss.

Finally Negan stops and pulls out. Rick’s muscles give out automatically; he slumps back into the pillows, letting out an exhausted sigh as he rubs the tears from his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he’d actually been crying. Negan lays out beside him, smoothing the sweaty curls from his forehead.

“You okay?” Negan says softly, hazel eyes hooded. Rick nods.

“Yeah,” Rick mumbles. His eyes fall shut of their own accord. He’s absolutely drained; he wonders if he should be. Before he can dissolve too far, though, Negan leans over and kisses his forehead.

“Just try and relax, okay?” Negan murmurs, as he slips off the bed. Rick frowns a little.

“Where you goin’?”

“Gonna get a wet washcloth,” Negan says. “We need to get cleaned up.”

Rick gives a reluctant groan, but says nothing. He keeps his eyes shut; he’s almost asleep when something cold and wet drops onto his belly, and he yelps, jerking upwards. Negan’s grinning, although he does look slightly apologetic.

“What the fuck?” Rick sputters, as Negan picks up the washcloth from his stomach. Negan laughs.

“Sorry, Rick. I couldn’t help it.” Negan chuckles, gently wiping down Rick’s front. Rick shivers at the chill of it. “You looked so damn peaceful.. I couldn’t resist.”

“You’re an asshole,” Rick mumbles, shaking his head as he lays back against the pillows. Negan gives him a cocky smirk.

“Maybe. But you’re the one putting up with me.”

Rick sighs a little. He can’t resist smiling, though, as he says, “Yeah, that’s true. Guess that's just how much I like you.”

Negan seems to falter a little, and Rick flushes, expression giving way to a little frown. Negan doesn’t keep the conversation up. Instead he throws the washcloth into the bathroom and crawls into bed next to Rick, pulls the slighter man against his chest. Rick breathes out a little sigh.

“We need to get up.”

“Nope,” Negan murmurs, burying his face against the top of Rick’s head. “We just had sex. We’re sleeping.”

Rick chuckles a little. He guesses that’s fair; and anyway, he’s exhausted. He sinks into Negan’s arms and lets his eyes close.

* * *

As soon as he wakes, his stomach growls. Negan’s still sleeping, so he carefully extracts himself from the man’s arms and finds some clothes to put on. He ends up throwing on one of Negan’s too-large shirts and a pair of boxers – because his ass is sore, and he really doesn’t want to wear pants – and then he ducks out of his room and pads downstairs, rubbing at his eyes.

His brother and brother’s wife are sitting at the dining room table. Jeffrey whistles as he steps down, and he lifts his head, surprised.

“What an outfit, Rick,” Jeff teases, and Rick flushes, embarrassed.

“Oh – uh – well..”

“No need to explain.” Jeff grins a little, head tilting. “I think we know.”

Rick huffs. His face is burning as he scurries into the kitchen and finds something to snack on. Finally he settles on graham crackers and a glass of water, and he quickly heads for the stairs again. Jeff calls to him to stop him momentarily.

“I’d put some pants on before Mom gets home,” Jeff says, amused. Rick mumbles some kind of agreement and climbs the staircase, taking refuge back into his room. The sound of the door closing wakes Negan, who lifts his head.

“Rick?”

“Yeah,” Rick responds. “Just got somethin’ to eat.”

“Mm. Bring me some of that sweetness, baby.”

Rick flushes but obeys, crawling into bed next to Negan and tearing into the crackers. Shyly he feeds Negan one of them; Negan watches him through half-lidded eyes, tongue lightly swiping over his fingers. Rick swallows a little.

“We’re, uh.” He clears his throat, almost mesmerized by the sight of Negan’s tongue on his fingers. “We’re not going to be leavin' here any time soon, are we.”

Negan grins, eyes dark. “Absolutely not.”


	7. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final stretch u guys!! last three chapters here we go

Negan keeps to his word and, besides a hasty dinner, they keep to themselves in Rick’s room. They don’t spend the entire time fucking; Rick finds pleasure in simply cuddling up to Negan, the older man holding him, stroking his bare back and thighs. If he could, he thinks, he would stay snuggled with Negan forever.

He wakes late the next morning, sore and tired but content. Negan’s propped up on one elbow next to him, the other arm thrown over his waist, and he turns over, sleepily rubbing at his eyes. Negan chuckles.

“Morning, baby.”

“Mmh,” Rick grunts in agreement. “You watchin’ me sleep?”

“Sorry, hon. Can’t help it.. you’re just too gorgeous.” Negan smiles a little, and Rick flushes, rolling his eyes.

“Compliments can only get you so far, Negan.”

“Well..” Negan’s hand slips down to his lower back, then his ass, squeezing lightly. “Will they get me a morning quickie?”

They do, and afterwards Rick stumbles shakily into the bathroom to get cleaned up, come sticking to his thighs. Negan fucks so _good_ ; Rick doesn’t have anything to compare it to, but he always feels fucked out and content after. He showers as quick as possible and throws on his clothes, then scurries out and downstairs to where Negan’s already making breakfast.

He’s not sure what he had been expecting. Something to change, maybe; Negan acting different, or something. But everything is the same as it was before. Negan gives him a cheerful good morning, pops a bit of bacon into his mouth for him, and then hands him a full plate of breakfast. It’s.. a sweet habit, Rick thinks, that Negan has fallen into during their visit, making breakfast for all of them.

And yet – he feels like something should be different now. He can’t quite put his finger on why; he doesn’t know if _he’s_ supposed to feel different, or what, but..

He scrubs a hand down his face, disrupting his thoughts. He’s overthinking things again. He glances at the TV he'd been half-heartedly watching; some kids’ cartoon; and then twists around to peer out the window. Since breakfast, Negan’s been working in the front garden, sun-kissed and dirt-smudged, and he’s still there now, bent over the little plants and mounds of dirt. He glances up at Rick; he gives a smile and a little wave, which Rick returns, and then leans back down.

Rick can’t tell if he’s just being paranoid, or if Negan is actually being more stand-offish. After breakfast, he had given Rick one little kiss before popping outside, which is unusual; but then again, Rick thinks, he probably wants to have as much daylight as possible. Still, though..

He flips off the TV. He stretches when he gets to his feet – he’s still sore from the morning – and then heads to the front door and ducks outside. Negan pauses and sits back, wiping the back of his hand across his sweat-dampened forehead.

“Hey, baby,” He says, head tipping. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Rick responds, leaning on the doorframe. “Just.. wanted to come see what you were doin’. Was startin’ to get in my own head in there.”

Negan hums. “You can come garden with me, if you want. Plenty of work to take your mind off it – this all needs weeding and planting.”

“Alright,” Rick agrees. He heads over to where Negan’s sitting and kneels down beside the other man. Negan hands him an extra trowel, and the both of them begin working. The sun actually feels decent on the back of his neck, contrasting the chill of the day, and it’s nice, just sitting together, their shoulders brushing lightly.

The nervous thoughts still occupy his mind, though. He wonders weakly if Negan just wants sex; the man is incredibly sexual, plain and simple, and the thought of Negan only using him has been on his mind often since the very beginning. It’s not like he’s got much going for him. He’s a barely-making-it college student, in a major that.. well.. he doesn’t even know if it’s going to pay off; and on top of all that, he finds himself only average in terms of appearance, especially when he’s standing next to Negan.

And now that he’s finally given in and agreed to have sex, maybe Negan will be satisfied and leave him. He still can’t help thinking Negan’s being more detached. Usually they’re full of conversation and affection, but now – it’s dead silent, save for the sound of shifting dirt.

He’s overthinking this. He has to be. Negan wouldn’t do that, surely; he’s been so good, so sweet, so far. Regardless, though, his fear lingers, and he can’t stop worrying. His thoughts are a whirlwind in his head, so intense that he starts to feel sick, and he sits back from the plants.

“Actually, I, uh.. I’m not feeling so hot.. I’m gonna go lay down,” Rick says lamely, getting to his feet. Negan glances up and frowns, giving him a long, searching look, and nods.

“Alright. Feel better, baby, okay? Drink water, you know, that kind of thing.”

Feeling disconcerted, Rick just nods and heads back into the house. Fuck – he’s gotta be overreacting. Naturally Negan wouldn’t ask if he was okay, he’d just said he isn’t, so there’s nothing to freak out about. Definitely. He climbs up the stairs and ducks into his room, although instead of laying down, he grabs his sketchbook and peers out the window.

Drawing always makes him feel better, so that’s what he does. He lets his hands work on their own, his mind wandering, and when he pulls himself back to reality he realizes he’s been sketching Negan out of habit. _Damnit_. He sighs and closes the book, rubbing his hand down his face.

He doesn’t know _what_ he’s going to do if, after all this, Negan decides they’re better off as friends – or, worse, wants to end things completely. It’s only now that he realizes just how much he likes having Negan around. He feels so comfortable with Negan, so happy, in a way that he’s never been before, and he’s more certain now than ever that this whole time he’s been falling in love with the man. And the thought of Negan leaving..

He tries to keep those thoughts out of his head as he determinedly sketches anything _but_ Negan. Negan never comes in – of course he doesn’t, _Rick is supposed to be asleep_ – and once Rick pulls the curtains on his windows shut, he loses track of time. Every time anything regarding Negan tries to slip into his head, he pushes it down. He gets so lost in distracting himself that when his mother calls, he’s surprised at how long he’s been in here, by himself.

A typical day, then.

He sighs, quietly putting the book aside and getting up. He heads out of his room and downstairs, where his mom is just about to call for him again.

“Oh, good, there you are,” She says. “Dinner’s ready.”

Rick glances into the kitchen and living room, eyebrows pulled together. Jeff and his wife are filling plates, laughing and grinning at each other, but.. “Where’s Negan?”

“I was just about to go get him. He’s been outside all day.” She shrugs. “Think he just wants something to do.”

“Right,” Rick says. She pats his shoulder and heads for the front door, and he wanders into the kitchen. Until this, they’d spent all their time together. He reminds himself that it’s normal for Negan to want some alone time; it’s just bad timing. That’s all.

“You look kind of down,” Jeff notes, as Rick retrieves a plate. “Everything alright?”

“I.. yeah.” Rick sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Jeff quirks an eyebrow. “This have anything to do with yesterday?”

“..yeah.” Rick heaves another little sigh, quietly piling food onto the plate. “I don’t know if it’s just me, but.. he’s been.. distant, today.”

Jeff softens, patting his back gently. “I’m sure it’s nothin’,” He says. “He probably doesn’t even know he’s doin’ anything.”

“I hope so.” Rick doesn’t add on what he thinks: _I hope he doesn’t leave._ Jeff heads to the table, although his wife pauses before she follows, giving him a soft, sympathetic look.

“It’ll be alright, Rick,” She soothes. “He’s a nice guy, and he likes you a lot. He'll be back to normal by tonight.”

Rick finds the words do help, and he nods. He follows her to the table and sits down next to his brother. After a few moments Negan and his mother return; he’s a little dismayed at the fact that Negan sits across from him, rather than together as they had every night so far. He finds he can’t join in with the others’ conversation. Negan keeps avoiding his gaze whenever he tries to catch it, almost pointedly; when he nudges Negan's leg with his foot, Negan just draws back out of reach. Now he’s absolutely sure that Negan is pushing him away. The thought makes him feel sick, suddenly, so sick that he quickly excuses himself and all but runs up the stairs.

He almost slams the door to his bedroom shut and sinks to the floor. He takes a few deep breaths. _Fuck – not now_ , he thinks desperately, distress and pain rising in his chest. His thoughts are running wild; Negan’s already cutting him off, losing interest, just playing with him. Slowly he crawls into his bed and wraps himself in sheets. It all smells like Negan. Rick doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget this scent.

He falls into an uneasy sleep with tears on his eyelashes, and when he wakes, it’s pitch black – or would be, if not for the light streaming in through the door from the hallway. He lifts his head blearily, brows furrowing.

“Oh, shit,” He hears Negan say, “sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Are you okay?”

Rick drops his head again. “Go ‘way,” He mumbles into the pillow. Negan sighs a little and shuts the door, then crosses the room to sit next to Rick on the bed.

“Baby..” Negan trails off. When Rick doesn’t stir again, he turns on the desk lamp and crawls into bed next to Rick. Rick keeps his eyes away from his face. Negan doesn’t force him to turn, just runs a hand through his curls.

“I know I haven’t been around today,” Negan murmurs, gently looping an arm over Rick’s waist. Rick doesn’t fight it – but he doesn’t lean into it, either. “I’m sorry, Rick. I didn’t mean to freak you out, I just..”

Rick waits for him to continue. After a moment he coaxes Rick to turn over, one hand cupping Rick’s cheek. Rick sighs, eyes closing.

“Do you remember, that first day.. I told you I used to be married?” Negan prompts, and Rick hums.

“Yeah.”

“Her name was Lucille.” Negan thumbs over Rick’s cheekbone for a moment, taking a shaky breath. “She was.. she was _awesome_. She put the fear of God in my heart, you know? But in a good way. I was ridiculously, completely in love with her. She was headstrong, determined, straight-forward.. she didn’t take any shit. And the truth is.. I was so shitty to her. I didn’t deserve her – she deserved better. She..”

Rick waits a heartbeat, two, before he speaks. “What happened to her?” He says softly, finally letting his eyes open. Negan’s not looking at him; the other man is looking somewhere over his shoulder, eyes red-rimmed and sad.

“Cancer,” Negan says forlornly. “She got sick.. it was fast. One day she was fine, and then.. she kept getting dizzy spells and migraines. Then she just.. passed out, one day. Hit her head. Somebody called an ambulance, and when we got there, they said.. they said.. _fuck_.” Negan shakes his head, clearing his throat. “Thought I was gonna knock out the doctor who told us. He just.. said it so.. like it meant nothing. After that, it wasn’t long before.. she went through chemo, but it.. it didn’t help at all. She was gone in just a few months.”

“I’m sorry,” Rick breathes, after a few moments of silence. Negan shakes his head and wipes at his eyes.

“Don’t be,” He mumbles gruffly. “I miss her every fucking day, but I.. it’s not.. it’s not an excuse. That’s not what this is. I just.. I thought if I could push you away, I wouldn't have to lose you, too. But that’s fucking stupid. I should be holding onto this with both fucking hands, squeezing every good moment I can out of this, not..”

“I was scared,” Rick confesses quietly, reaching up to cover Negan’s hand where it’s still resting on his face. “I thought.. because I’d finally let you fuck me.. you’d be satisfied and leave me. I was – I–”

“No.” Negan cuts in, thumb pressing to Rick’s lips to quiet him. “No, baby, not ever. I’ll never ever do that to you. I promise. Listen, Rick, I.. the truth is..” He takes a breath to steady himself and he makes eye-contact with Rick, holding the slighter man’s gaze firmly. “I loved Lucille. I still do. She was the first love of my life. But the fact of the matter is I can’t let my love for her erase the fact that I love you.”

Rick’s mouth goes dry, and he gazes, surprised, at Negan. Negan swallows and looks away, clearly uncertain at the extended silence.

“You.. love me?” Rick whispers, unable to tear his gaze away from Negan. Negan gives a half-inclined jerk of his shoulders.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.”

“Negan, I..” Rick can feel himself turning pink, shy and somehow feeling like his chest might burst with joy. _He loves me_. “I think I.. love you, too. I’ve been thinking about it all day,” He admits shyly, chuckling with embarrassment. Negan breaks out in a grin and laughs, dipping his head.

“That’s good,” Negan says, resting their foreheads together. “Now I feel like less of a fucking fool.”

“I don’t think you’re a fool.” Rick reaches up, cups Negan’s cheek. “I think you’re amazing.”

Negan seems surprised for a brief moment. Then he swoops in and pulls Rick in for a deep, slow kiss – not sexual, yet anyway, just soft, full of feeling. It’s nice. Slowly Negan rolls them over, and they stay like that for a while, kissing languidly. Rick is the first to deepen it, pulling gently at Negan, and Negan obliges, lips parting and hips rolling.

Rick thinks, as Negan makes love to him, slow and gentle, that this is the way the world should be.


	8. Day Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next to last chapter!! its comin to a close yall :(((

From the moment he wakes up the next morning, he feels like he’s flying.

He turns over after a few minutes of lazing around, enjoying the warmth of the sheets and Negan’s body. Negan’s still asleep. Rick lifts a hand, cups his cheek gently. There’s a light dusting of stubble on his face, rough against Rick’s palm. It’s nice.

Rick’s touch wakes Negan, though, and he stirs and stretches, yawning. “Morning, honey,” He murmurs, smiling a little as he catches sight of Rick’s face. “Who’s watchin’ who this morning?”

“I haven’t been awake long.” Rick says, unable to resist returning the smile. “’sides. You’re pretty when you sleep.”

Negan flushes a little and sits up. “Right,” He says, embarrassed. “I, ah.. should we shower? Today’s the day, and all..”

Rick’s grin widens. “Yeah,” He agrees, sliding out of bed. He can feel Negan’s gaze on his swinging hips as he heads for the bathroom, but the other man doesn’t move, and he glances over his shoulder. “You coming?”

Negan hastily jumps from the bed, and he’s on Rick before they reach the bathroom, lips on the slighter man’s shoulder and hands on Rick's hips. Rick laughs as they stumble as one unit into the bathroom.

* * *

After they’ve showered, dried off, and gotten dressed, they trail downstairs. Everything seems so much brighter and prettier today, Rick thinks; maybe he’s still joyed from the previous night, but it’s nice. Not even being whisked away to help set up the house can burst his bubble. He and Negan keep catching each other’s gazes, and every time, he finds himself grinning shyly, eyes dropping to whatever he’s doing.

“You look happy,” Jeff says, sliding up next to him and making him jump. “You work out whatever was going on?”

“Yeah.” He grins blissfully again, staring down at the table he’s been setting. _He loves me_ , he wants to shout; but he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “Yeah, we worked it out.” Jeff smiles.

“That’s good. I hate seein’ you down.” Jeff claps him on the back. Then Jeff is called away to help in the kitchen, and Rick returns to his duty – but not before catching Negan’s eye. The older man slips out of the kitchen and strides over to him.

“Nobody’s letting me work today.” He teases, smiling a little as Negan leans down to kiss him. Negan chuckles.

“I see how it is,” Negan chuckles, grinning down at him. “Don’t want me around, eh?”

“That’s not it.” Rick rolls his eyes, still grinning. “You know Mom will have my hide if I don’t get this done. What’s she got you doing?”

“I’m helping with dinner.” Negan jerks his head towards the kitchen and shrugs. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Good.” Rick runs a hand through Negan’s messy hair, and Negan hums, leaning in for another kiss. Rick pulls back before it can get too deep and nudges Negan’s chest. “You should get back to work,” He says gently. “Me, too.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you in a bit.” Negan gives him a dazzling smile and heads back to the kitchen, whistling lightly. Rick returns to setting the large table; his cheeks are flushed with pleasure and he feels light and happy. Even when he wraps up and people begin arriving, he feels like he’s floating.

He says plenty of “hello”s to people he barely knows, shakes hands and receives plenty of hugs and kisses. Soon enough Negan joins him, one arm subtly around his waist. He knows some of the older relatives give them odd looks, but he’s so happy he doesn’t care, and before he knows it, it’s time for dinner. Negan keeps one hand on the small of his back right up until they’re sitting down, next to each other – probably a little closer than necessary, but neither of them care all that much.

This is the loudest Rick’s ever heard this house. Negan’s lively presence seems to cheer everyone up, despite their initial discomfort regarding Rick and Negan’s relationship, and before long Negan and some of the older men are swapping garage stories that have Rick shaking his head. Really, he wonders, is there anything Negan _can’t_ do?

“Who made the turkey?” One of his aunts says. Negan grins.

“I did.”

“Well, it’s delicious,” She declares, and Negan’s grin widens. That’s an ego boost he didn’t need, Rick thinks affectionately. Negan leans over to Rick to whisper in his ear.

“Looks like you’re not the only one who likes my meat in their mouth,” He murmurs, so quietly that only Rick can hear. Rick almost chokes, his face flushing bright pink, and has to take a moment to fight the laughter that threatens to escape him.

“Don’t be dirty at the dinner table,” He breathes back, half-scolding, half-amused, and Negan grins.

“You love me.”

“I do,” Rick concedes, smiling a little. “For some reason, I do.”

Negan twines their fingers together idly, leaning back to his original position. Rick is still blushing a little. Negan’s got a bit of a point – at least, in the fact that Rick had enjoyed giving blowjobs more than he thought possible.

After dinner, they lounge around, talking idly. Rick leans himself against Negan’s chest with the man’s arms around him, and while he’s quiet, he listens to all of the stories around him. Some uncle in California is in jail, his fourth cousin twice removed got a new modeling job, an aunt-in-law had a baby.. he wonders if these family members from other states will take the story of him and Negan back. _Our baby Rick finally found someone._ He plays with Negan’s fingers draped over his front, and he can feel the easy rise and fall of Negan’s chest, and _fuck_ , he’s happy. He’s so fucking happy.

After everybody finally leaves – several hours later, about the time Rick is reaching the end of his rope on social interaction for a while, and with so many hugs and kisses and handshakes that Rick is getting the itch to shower again – Negan needles him into helping with the dishes. Negan washes and he dries, and they bump shoulders every now and again, exchanging gooey, lovey grins every time. Rick had never expected himself to be the overly affectionate type of guy, but something about Negan just draws it out of him.

“So, it’s over,” Negan comments, when they’re halfway through washing. “This week. Can you believe it?”

“No.” Rick shakes his head, chuckling. “Feels like just yesterday we met.”

“Fuck yeah, it does.” Negan flicks some water at him, grinning childishly, and Rick laughs, holding up his arm to block some of the droplets. “Feels like yesterday you were scared, shakin’ like a leaf as soon as we got here.”

“To be fair, I’m still pretty scared,” Rick admits, flushing a little. “I don’t know where this is going – or where _I’m_ going, or.. but,” He shakes his head, “I have you now. So I don’t have to be scared.”

“That’s right.” Negan loops an arm around Rick’s waist and catches him in a kiss, tongue lightly dipping into his mouth. He sighs happily, one hand resting on Negan’s chest. “I love you, baby,” Negan adds quietly, pulling back a little, and as they had the night before the words cause a warm feeling in Rick’s chest. “So fucking much. Never thought I’d feel this way about someone again, but here you are.”

“I love you, too,” Rick murmurs shyly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” Negan breaks out in a grin again and kisses Rick’s forehead, then returns to washing the dishes. Rick smiles a little. Fuck, he really does love Negan. It all seems so fast, but it also feels so _right_.

Rick is a little slow, so by the time he’s finished drying the dishes Negan’s already gone to sit on the couch. When he enters the living room, Negan gestures for him to come over, and he does – although he’d been planning on doing that, anyway. As soon as he’s within arm’s reach Negan pulls him down by his hips so he’s straddling Negan’s lap, and Negan’s hand wraps around the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He leans his arms on the back of the couch over Negan’s shoulders, letting his lips part obediently.

“Mm, _baby_ ,” Negan groans, reaching up to unbutton Rick’s slightly damp shirt. “I love you so much. _So much_.”

“I love you, too,” Rick breathes. Despite the urging of his dick in his pants, though, he stills Negan’s hands at the band of his pants, head shaking. “We can’t. Not here,” He says quietly, in response to Negan’s confused frown.

“Why not?” Negan protests, although he’s respectful enough to keep his hands firmly on Rick’s sides, not moving them. “We won’t be caught, everyone else is in bed.”

“I know, but..” Rick sighs, running a hand through his curls. “We just.. can’t. I don’t want to.”

Negan pauses, then lets his hands drop. “Alright,” He agrees softly. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

“Sorry,” He mumbles, crawling out of Negan’s lap and reaching to button up his shirt – although it’s still wet from the dishes, and he decides it’s more worth it just to take it off completely. Negan hums.

“Don’t apologize, baby.” Gently Negan runs his knuckles over Rick’s cheek, a little smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I don’t mind, really. We’ve done enough fucking lately.”

Rick laughs at this, turning his head and pressing a kiss against Negan’s fingers. “Yeah,” He agrees. “We have. I’m sore.”

Negan laughs, too. He pulls Rick in for a sweet, chaste kiss, and when he pulls back Rick snuggles into his side. He slings an arm around Rick, squeezing gently – a silent gesture of _mine_.

“Hey, Rick. Let me ask you something,” Negan murmurs, turning his head to kiss Rick’s temple. Rick hums and glances up.

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s probably.. I mean, it seems obvious, but-” Negan hesitates, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. If Rick didn’t know any better, he’d say Negan is _embarrassed_. “I just, ah.. I mean, we’ve taken all the steps, so.. just to make it official. Do you wanna go out with me?”

Rick pauses. A grin tugs at his mouth after a moment, and he laughs a little, cheeks flushing. Truthfully, he hadn’t given much thought to “official” – they made out, fucked, kissed, cuddled. They slept together every night, enjoying each other’s sleepy morning selves every morning. They were together in his mind. But for Negan, he smiles up at the man and says, “Yes. Definitely.”


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is it. The End. it's..... honestly kind of hard to believe? finishing a fic is such a rarity for me that i'm not used to it l0l but to be honest, this has been finished for SO LONG and even still i find myself trying to flip back to keep working on it. i ended up so attached to these boys and it's so sad for me to let them go  
> for all of you guys: THANK YOU so much for reading this far. for all the comments and kudos you guys have given me. i thought this would just be a fun little fic to write based off of a picture and it turns out people actually liked it!! it was amazing. and seeing you guys theorize about the ending surprisingly meant a lot :') so thank you. all of u. i read every comment you guys left me and it all meant a lot. i hope this isnt too disappointing of a fluffy ending :')  
> ALSO: this is set approximately 7 years in the future. carl is 8, and judith is not yet 1.

“Rick! It’s good to see you.”

Rick chuckles lightly as he’s pulled into a hug by his brother, holding the cake out with his free hand so as not to drop it. “Hey, Jeff. Nice to see you too. Hey, um, not to cut this reunion short, but where can I-?”

“Oh! You can put that right over here..”

He wanders in through the door. They’re holding Thanksgiving at his brother’s new house this time, and he’s not quite familiar with the layout: Jeff’s only just recently returned from his trip to Spain, and as soon as he’d gotten off the plane he’d moved into a new place. He sets the white-frosted cake on the table where Jeff gestures.

“Where’s Negan?” Jeff prompts curiously, peering out the door. Rick shakes his head.

“Probably trying to wrestle Judy out of her car seat,” He says, amused. “She’s at that age, you know.. a little hellion, without even trying.”

Jeff cracks a grin. “Yeah,” He laughs. “I know. No offense, Rick, but I’m glad it’s you and not me.”

“No offense taken.” Rick chuckles. They both turn as Negan ducks into the house, Judith in her basket and Carl clutching his hand, occupied with the newest Pokémon game. Negan stops at their twinned amused expressions, eyebrows raising.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Rick offers him a smile, moving over and taking Judith from him. “Talking about this little munchkin.”

Negan looks like he wants to say something, but then he glances down at Carl and just chuckles. “Yeah, she’s something,” He murmurs. The sound of a car door closing catches all of their attention, then, and Jeff shrugs.

“I’ll get it. You guys get settled down, it’s a few hours yet.”

Negan shoots Rick a grin. The three of them head over to the couch and settle down, Carl absorbed completely in his DS, Rick and Negan's fingers twined tight. Negan sets down Judith’s diaper bag, chock-full of diapers and formula, and fishes out some of her toys as Rick lifts her from her basket and sits her between his legs. She peers up at him and smiles widely.

“Hey there,” He coos, and her smile widens and she giggles at him. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Da,” She says, patting at his beard, and he smiles. Beside him Negan chuckles.

“I’ll never get used to this,” He murmurs, holding his fingers out for Judith to grab at. Rick murmurs agreement, watching them play. It’s so sweet, he thinks; he adores watching Negan play with their little girl. Such a big man with such a tiny girl.. it does something to Rick's heart.

Then little pattering footsteps come for the front door, and, like some kind of eerie child sense, Carl’s head lifts, just in time for his cousin Sophia to burst through the front door. He brightens at the sight of her. She’s the only kid around his age, and as such, they’re incredibly close. He closes his DS and pops up to receive a hug. Rick grins as he watches them. Carl’s a shy kid, and it’s always nice to see him with a friend.

“You should come outside and play!” She chirps, eyes bright. “Uncle Jeffrey is setting up a water slide!”

Carl immediately turns to his parents, blue eyes round and lower lip pouting. “Can I go out? Pleaaase?” He pleads. Rick glances at Negan and then chuckles.

“Alright,” He agrees. “Be careful. Stay where someone can see you. Don’t go too far-”

“I know.” Carl throws a half-hug on Rick, being careful of Judith, and fully hugs Negan, and then he and Sophia sprint out the front door. Rick looks over at Negan and then begins to laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. Negan laughs, too. Their laughter makes Judith laugh, too, and she claps her hands together.

"Are we sure he's not related to you somehow?" Rick teases, and Negan laughs, head shaking.

"He may not be related to me, sugar, but he was  _raised_ by me. Same difference."

"Well," Rick chuckles, "I hope this one isn't wild like you two. Our poor house." As if in response Judith giggles up at him, pulling gently at his beard again. Negan, still grinning, begins to coo at her, wiggling his fingers to keep her attention. Rick strokes a hand down her hair. She’s got bright blonde curls that stand out from the other three of them, but damn, he loves how much like an angel it makes her look.

God, he’s happy, watching Negan play with Judith. Not for the first time, he considers sending a text to Daryl – a thank-you text, thanking him for introducing Negan into Rick’s life. He’s sure Daryl is tired of hearing it, but really, it had changed his entire life and made him happier than he ever could have felt before.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Negan prompts, sliding an arm around Rick and pulling him close. He adjusts to keep Judith comfortable and leans his head on Negan’s shoulder.

“Thinkin’ about texting Daryl thank you. Again,” He tacks on, chuckling. Negan snorts.

“Babe, I’m pretty sure he’s heard it enough.”

“I know, I know.” Rick laughs, shakes his head. “I say it again, and he very well might build a time machine, go back, and stop himself from sending the link to your ad.”

Negan hums thoughtfully, and for a few minutes doesn’t respond. Rick is beginning to figure he’s not going to when he says, “Well, it sure is a good thing we’re lucky, then.”

“Yeah?” Rick glances up, eyebrows raised. “How so?” And Negan laughs, kisses his temple and squeezes his shoulder.

“’Cause nothing in this universe could ever keep us from bein’ together, Rick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some canon after-the-facts:  
> rick & negan marry on june 12, 20xx, when judith is 3 and carl is 11 - 3 years after this epilogue  
> when judith is 6 or 7, the pair adopts another child, a little girl they name lucille  
> with negan's aid, rick is one of the lucky ones who makes a steady living off of his art, in fact becoming relatively popular  
> they live a long-ass, happy life forever


End file.
